Saturday, August 18, 2012 @ 4:47 PM
The air wasn't as hazy as usual, thank God. Surprisingly, I had a good vision of my surroundings as the clean air carressed my cheeks when I cycled. Ahhh, so nice and cooling. :) You'll never get to experience this if you're in the car (air-cond isn't counted!). We didn't plan to cycle so far at first, maybe just around the neighbourhood then head back home. But as we cycled outside our comfort zone, we saw many other cyclist coming together at the kerb so we decided to join them.
My dad talked to them as we waited for the rest of the gang. Most of the cyclists there were guys in their mid 20s or 30s. I couldn't help but stared at their legs. Muscular like don't know what, I wonder where all their fats went. Freaking solid whey. ._. I tilted my head downwards and looked at my own legs...
V-___-V
While my dad babbled away with them, I realised how prepared they were to go on this mini cycling trip. Skintight attire, bike lights, bike helmet with lights attached to it at the front and back, bottled water, tubes just in case a bike tyre gets worn out, a pump, etc.
Us? We had our helmets and bike lights, that's all. And we thought we were so ready for it, hahaha. Neither one of us even brought along a bottled water, for heaven's sake! Anyway, we spotted the others coming our way so the guys told us to start cycling first. Dad wanted to wait for them but one of them just said, "Just go! They're very fast and will catch up with you later!" So, we cycled first. Suddenly, I felt a gush of wind blowing right beside me, over and over again. Swoosh! Swoosh! Swoosh! One by one, the guys overtook us and in the end, we're at the back of the pack.
Eventually, we lost all of them. We're on our own. In the dark. ._.
We haven't even started for long when I felt my legs aching already. Throughout the whole journey, my dad cycled faster than me and had to slow down so that I could keep up. He's 55, BTW, with a hunched back, already cracking bones and going through midlife crisis (whoops). Yet, he STILL cycled faster than me. Made me feel like I'm 170 instead of 17, WTH. That shows how unfit I am. :( Anyway, we're cycling along the motorcycle road instead of the highway. Many cars zoomed past us; some even honked us for don't-know-what reason. I just took that as an encouraging honk, haha. :D
There were very few motorbikes but there was this one dude who was so freaking annoying. When he was overtaking me, he revved up his engine so loud and scared the shit out of me. I almost fell into the ravine beside me, WTH. Almost died. My dad said, "Ignore them. They do that on purpose to scare you." Babi lah. I hope they get knocked down by cars and die. -_-
Okay, I take that back. Too mean already. God, forgive me.
I saw dead rats with intestines spilling out on the road; they must've gotten ran over my motorbikes. :/ And there were little snakes slithering around. At one point, when I was cycling, some tiny bird/dragonfly/bat flew straight towards me and smacked itself onto my left shoulder. I screamed, HAHAHA. But it was damn painful lah, my God. Dad cycled way ahead of me, leaving me behind to eat his dust. -_-
But it was the best time to talk to God. I talked to Him about the many things that have been going on in school, all my troubles and drama that happened. He comforted me and told me to learn how to forgive. It felt good to share with someone I love; I felt a burden being lifted off instantly. I told Him about the happy things, too, and thanked Him for making them happen. Of course He knows about all my stories lah, since He's the one who planned everything (LOL), but I like to tell Him stuff. I like talking to God. Despite all the noise of cars zooming past and trucks honking under the moonlit sky, I felt so serene, so calm, so peaceful.
I talked to God, as in really TALKED. Not praying or speaking in my mind. I used my mouth, used my voice, used words. No one could hear me, anyway. Dad was so far ahead, the only thing I could see was his flashing red bike light. But I'm sure God was listening intently to my every word; He always does. :') There were a few times we had to cycle through tunnels, it was so scary but I kept praying out loud so God would protect us. After a while, I started singing P&W songs. Wait, not singing, SCREAMING! It felt so good, hahaha. So glad I could spend time with dad and heavenly dad at the same time. :B
Mum called us 10+ times but dad couldn't answer. At that time, we were out from our motorcycling lane and crossing the highway with a gazillion cars zooming past us. So dangerous and risky. Me likeyyy. *rubs hands together in glee* HAHAHAHA. By the time we arrived back home, my muscles ached like siaocrazy and my butt hurt like mad. The bicycle seat was damn uncomfortable! I saw my mum and my brother waiting for us anxiously at the gate, worried sick. They thought we got mugged or kidnapped, LOL! Couldn't blame them either, crime rate is on the rise every single day. Dad and I headed straight towards the kitchen. Sprite and ice, Sprite and ice, Sprite and ice. LMAO, damn thirsty, okay.
Moonlight illuminating our paths. Cool breeze combing through my hair. Legs pumping as furiously as my heart. Cars, trucks and motorcycles zooming past. Red and green lights of the tollbooths looking brighter than ever up close. Dad and I ringing the bicycle bell to indicate we're still alive. Precious moments spent with God. I enjoyed every single second of it despite my hurting butt, muscle cramps and extreme exhaustion.
Yeaaa, man. Let's do it again. \m/
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Whisk me away
Friday, July 20, 2012 @ 11:49 PM
My muscles ached like crazy after I came back from ballet class. Couldn't go en pointe properly because my legs were sore from running yesterday. This proves that I seriously lack of exercise. -_- But the great news is I ran for 30 minutes just now. Yep, at 10pm. It felt so good to run in the dark with the occasional glaring light in the eyes because of passing vehicles. I wanted to walk Snoopy as promised but my mum offered to do it since she wants me to slim down, too. Why walk when I can run? LMAO. While I ran, Snoopy kept chasing me, haha. So adorable but I kinda pitied my mum 'cause she was pulled by him! :O
I still can't resist the temptation of food, though. :( Broke a few rules today : I ate lunch when I decided not to (but just a little); snacked on three Oreo cookies in tuition (Zhe Ying specially brought it for me and forced me to eat them so I had no choice :L) and had a McD Foldover for dinner (smart move lah, Ru Min, smart move ==). Ohwellz, bad habits die hard. Shall work harder to achieve my goal.
I think my dad was relieved(?) that I finally got to my senses to slim down. He cycled behind me while I ran because in a way, he was sorta "chasing" me so I felt the need to move faster. It really works - I ran all the way back home from the park non-stop for the first time. :D My dad was so excited about me running he started talking about buying me new running shoes and suggesting that I should join marathons in the future. Uh, dad? I'll just be one fat ball in the midst of the other hardcore runners, rolling slowly along the road for milleniums before I reached the finishing line. ._. So, the answer is no. Just no.
Anyway, I'll be waking up at 6.30am tomorrow to go cycling with him. :) We'll be cycling out of our comfort zone to a land really far away for hours and my mum has no clue about our little plan (that's a good thing because she'd be squawking like crazy if she knew). I'm so excited because it sounds like an adventure and I love adventures! :D Also partly because my life lacks excitement. Gee, I sound so sad. Fine, I am. :(
I really hope I get thin fast. Kinda emo about my weight lately and I feel stupid for being emo over small matters and because I feel stupid for emoing over small matters, I feel emo for being stupid. Wait, whut? OHH-KAYYY. I think I'd better go do my sit-ups and push-ups then get some sleep; I'm beat.
Ahhh, finally doing something beneficial other than mopping around the house like a backboneless person. So satisfying. :')
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Thursday, July 19, 2012 @ 10:27 PM
On second thought, I shall just go to the gym next time. Who needs those beautiful views when you can slim down in a fully air-cond room? Teehee.
I realised exercising is actually REALLY good for us. After all those years of writing essays on how exericising benefits us, I can finally admit that it's true, surprisingly. I took a nice hot bath after running then I had dinner while using the iPad (sigh, some bad habits die hard). I realised all this happened in just two hours and I'm still filled with energy; normally, I'd be either stuffing myself with food or lazing around doing nothing productive.
After dinner, I was damn alert so I started studying for my Chemistry quiz tomorrow. On normal days, I'd just doze off and die on my bed with my fats, LOL. To hell with the quiz, I'd rather sleep! :P I am shocked of my diligent behaviour today and am very proud of myself. What an accomplishment! :D Also, I'm quite glad to hear my brother finally strumming some chords on the guitar. He just started learning; he doesn't really like to play instruments (he abandoned his piano mission at the age of seven, LOL). I hope he gets better in the future then we can play together. :)
After revising for my quiz tomorrow, I felt sleep so I did my sit-ups and push-ups. It went well; I could almost feel abs forming, HAHAHAHA. Okay, dream on. Sigh, I love this productive day of mine. :') I wanna do it again tomorrow but I have tuition and ballet lessons. NVM, I shall skip breakfast and lunch then walk Snoopy after my ballet class and do my sit-ups and push-ups before I sleep.
Okay, plan onz. So excited; I wanna see how long I can maintain this awesome routine. :D
WHOA, OMG. :O
That girl is fanfreakingtastically amazing. This shows that anything is possible in life. I'm super pumped and motivated to slim down now. Oh, how much I love people who inspire others! (Y)
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Wednesday, July 18, 2012 @ 8:45 PM
So many people have been pestering me to blog but nowadays, I don't really have much free will to express however I want due to SOME reasons so I don't even feel like blogging altogether. Some self-centered people just want to watch the world burn. -_- Another reason is because I've been so busy with homework and quizzes lately. Too many quizzes for coursework! :( Barely have enough time to study for all of them. Another Add Maths quiz tomorrow and here I am, not giving a damn. Feels good to be a badass once in a while. 8)
It is also hugely my beloved brother's fault. He has been (once again) hogging the computer and as I don't blog from the iPad, thus, semi-dead blog. Mind you, I have loads of inspiration and absolutely no writer's block or whatsoever. So many things to blog about as I've experienced umpteen many exciting events lately (my ex school's Talentine, NASA Space Settlement Competition, Subang Rally, my class' fundraising event today, etc.) but I'm just plain lazy. Ru Min? Lazy? *gasps* Okay, I'm always lazy. There's no need for such a big response.
Also, I feel guilty everyday for not touching my textbooks. I've grown to be so freaking lazy, I can just sleep all day long even though it's a school day. I mean, whenever I feel like studying, the stupid iPad will be lying around somewhere and then all thoughts of revising will be gone. I swear, it's sucking my soul and killing my brains. I've went through so many sleepless nights because of the iPad. Sigh, I shouldn't give in to temptation so easily. -_-
One totally irrelevant but perfectly good excuse for me being not motivated to blog is because I AM SO FAT ALREADY. I know, I know. You'd probably think, What the heck is your weight got to do with you not blogging? Excuses lah. Don't want to blog then say lah. Haha, chillax, bro. Hear me out. It's weird but when I feel fat, I feel so demotivated. My mood will be freaking ruined for the whole day so there's no drive to blog anymore. Eventhough it might be a fantastic day for me but whenever I think about my weight, I feel... sad. Whoa, sharing my insecurities with the entire universe. I'm so brave. ._.
Wait. Suddenly, I feel like there's a need to blog about my weight. Gonna abandon my mission of explaining why I'm not blogging frequently nowadays. :P Okay, I've been dieting like siaocrazy since last year and yes, it did work but just for a while (because whenever I drop 1kg, I stuff myself 2kg to celebrate my weight loss #dumb) so I'm back to square one. My mum said I should eat three regular meals and stop binching when I feel hungry (or when my mouth starts itching for food -_-) and for once, I listened to her. I eat three regular meals (but not large proportions) and do fifty sit-ups and twenty push-ups everyday because I read somewhere in the Net that that will help to strengthen stomach and arms muscles. (Y) I don't run daily (I should) but I don't think I have enough time. Might start that routine but they said it takes quite a while to burn calories.
I've already cut down on junk food and carbonated drinks (my mum doesn't even buy them anymore) but sometimes, I snack to keep me awake on those rare days when I feel like studying. I used to diet a lot last time but it's unhealthy so I wanna do it the right way. MANA TAU, MALANG TIDAK BERBAU. After trying so hard, I feel like a fool. I have gained TWO FREAKING KILOS just because I was practising a healthy diet. Do you even know how disappointing is that? Probably not; you're so slim and good-looking, some of your clothes look loose on you.
Maybe I should've stuck to starving myself; it'd have shown better results. On some days, I wonder why I bother so much about my weight. I didn't really care much about it last time and I was happy to eat whatever I like. I realised I've been so affected with these petty worldly matters but I can't get them out of my head. It irritates me to think that I've tried so hard to slim down and yet I'm heavier by 2kg now - it's freaking hard for me to lose 2kg, okay. -_- Sigh, it might be God's way of telling me to stop trying and just be satisfied with life.
I guess I'd start my original dieting plan tomorrow again. Healthy lifestyles just don't do for me, sadly. Gonna start running tomorrow if possible. Okay, gotta finish up my English essay then sleep with my fats. ;_; Goodnight, guys. On a side note, I'm really glad that some of you still view my blog although it's kinda dead. Thanks a lot. I'd give you a potato but I love potatoes and I'm a selfish person, so NO. :P
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5:37 AM
OMG, I find this so hilariously good. Someone should get this idea drummed into the heads of the people who design movie theatres!
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Saturday, June 23, 2012 @ 5:37 PM
Yesterday, my ballet centre almost collapsed because everyone was shrieking like mad inside. A cockroach was running around, hiding in between our demi pointe shoes and bags. The other girls kept screaming and ran to a corner. I was like them last time but I don't know when I overcame my fear of cockroaches. I don't see what's the fuss about one tiny creature when we're all giants compared to it. Calmly, I took off one of my pointe shoes and whacked it. End of story.
Fear.
There are so many types of fear in life : fear of failure, fear of success, fear of betrayal, etc. Everyone has fears but you can choose to overcome it. I have so many fears that it is impossible to count them. I'm glad I overcame my fear of cockroaches because there are so many of them crawling around in my room (biggest secret revealed!) until I'm just bored of them already and can't wait to kill them.
My biggest fear now is my mum. I don't see myself as a rebellious kid but of course I go against her once in a while (for now, it's many times in a while, LOL). I always fear that I'll not live up to her standards because she was a top student last time but we're supposed to run our own race, right? And I constantly feel like she's the barrier of all my dreams. She always holds me back from all my interests and putting focus on my studies, as if I'm not working hard enough.
Really, mum, please don't assume the As you see on my report card fall from the sky like rain. I may not study as hard as you did last time but I can assure you I always try my best. Why is it so hard to trust me on that matter? You should know me well enough that I'm a person who strives for the best. You say you're disappointed in me for getting 80+ in most of my subjects this time. Guess what? You're not the only one.
I'm disappointed, too. But I'm more disappointed in you.
I hate going to places with my mum - wait, let's be specific : I hate being alone with my mum. Anywhere, but mostly in her car when we're going to places. She is such a negative person and she's constantly showering me with those negative comments of hers and I'm so affected by it. I know people say you're responsible for your own happiness but her negative words just get stuck in my head somehow. At a certain age, I realised I'm so upset/annoyed whenever she's with me and I feel so relieved when my dad picks me up from tuitions or ballet lessons.
I can talk to my dad about anything because he is more open-minded than my mum and whenever there is silence in his car, I feel at peace. But if there is silence in my mum's car, it's always after a huge argument with her. Wait, it's mostly my mum worrying about my future, my grades and my Mandarin tuitions. And all her money wasted on me for learning instruments and dancing. So, basically, it's a one-sided argument because I'll just be there stealthily, remaining silent. I mean, what was I supposed to say?
My mum always discourages me to try new things because she doubts my commitment. In my opinion, she's just lazy to drive me around and wants to stay at home and sleep. Let's talk about commitment, then. I've not once done things half-heartedly because I'm a perfectionist. Whatever I learn, be it instruments, a sport, an art, I always learn as much as I can and I ALWAYS finish what I've started. Perhaps she's mad because she wanted me to play tennis when I was younger but then, I stopped. That's the only thing I didn't finish because I wasn't interested in that sport. She forced me to take it, my gosh. But I learnt how to swim when I didn't want to, right?
And she always compares. Like, "Why did teacher let her perform? Why not you instead?" Or, "Wow, he's really an all-rounder. If only it were you, I'd be so proud." Seriously, mum. You're the one who always discourages me to do anything else except studying. I like to take part in school activities, I'd love to perform in dramas, I don't mind going for competitions, it's fine by me if I take up a post in a society - but you didn't want any of those so I let all those chances slip through my fingers. Please, don't compare. It hurts me to think that I've lost so many opportunities just because you didn't approve.
Sometimes, when I'm alone and my brain starts reeling, I think about why I'm studying so hard in school when those aren't the subjects I want to take. I envy those people who are not good in studies but they have a certain talent that no one else has. Anyone can be smart - you just have to be hardworking; it takes a non-conformist to walk a different path from the rest of us, believing that he can do it when everyone doubts him.
She laughed when I told her I want to be in the arts stream. I like music. I like dancing. I like arts. She said everyone does but society kills those dreams. To me, she's the one murdering mine. I don't want to be a doctor or an actuarist. I don't mind having a lower pay; I just want to enjoy what I do. "That's what everyone says. And where have they ended up? In McDonald's, complaining about how unfair life is."
I'm so negative nowadays, I can't even think straight. I hope God would just change the course of my life and change my mum's thinking. I hope He'll stop her from feeding me negative thoughts and give me a right mind. I hope He has better things in store for me. I hope.
Hope.
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Monday, June 18, 2012 @ 7:13 PM
I PASSED MY DRIVING TEST. YAY ME! 8D
LOL, that was straightforward. I really thank God for guiding me throughout my exam. I also thank God for the great weather today and the car I used - it's new! :D Thank God for giving me the confidence and the power of positive thinking and also directing my path when I drove because I'm sure as heck the examiner wouldn't tell me where I'm supposed to go.
I had to skip school today (duh) but I'm not complaining. :B Waited so freaking long at the HQ for my turn to come. I was the 51st candidate, can you imagine? Thank God I was in the first batch so I can come home by 1.30pm. So many people failed before me, especially when they were going up the hill. My friend and I were panicking like crap because we didn't want to retake the exam (and also because her "L" licence will expire tomorrow). We eyed the best cars to use and the lousiest ones to avoid - basically, the car number plates that start with 2 suck like mad (always stall!) whereas those that start with 6 are new and awesome. :)
Seeing other people failed made me nervous like shit. I was so glad when it was my turn because I got a great car and also partly because I was so impatient and couldn't wait to get it over with. I was so excited to drive until I forgot to wear my seat belt!
I quickly strapped it on, of course! Thank God no one saw me. *acts innocent* And I realised the accelerator of the new car was freaking sensitive. I just PLACED my foot on top of the pedal - NO FORCE APPLIED - and the car started humming so loudly and moving so fast. Scared the crap out of me whey. I got in line with the other candidates, preparing to drive up the hill. Was nervous as heck. To my horror, EVERY SINGLE PERSON IN FRONT OF ME FAILED THAT SECTION. I think I started talking to myself? Ohh-kayyy.
Then, my turn came along. I accelerated up the hill and stopped abruptly, pulling my handbrake up then raising my hand out the window to signal that I was done. The examiner told me to go down the hill. My worst nightmare came. For every lesson, I always failed this part because I always rolled back down the hill. NOT THIS TAIME, I told myself. I rammed the accelerator with my feet while I slowly lifted up the clutch and quickly put down the handbrake. Fuyoh, you should've seen my car flying down the hill while my happy emotions went up, up, up! :D
Parking was fine. I was so afraid of knocking the tiang down because many of the candidates did. :O Three point turn also went smooth for me, with God's grace. :) AND THEN, I PASSED. :D Well, this section only lah. I'm so happy that I got through because A LOT of my super smart friends failed and had to retake again. :/ They made me ultra nervous. Really, thank God I passed. Later, I waited freaking long again for my turn to drive on the road. The test lah, I mean.
I was practically shaking when it was my turn. I hate driving on the road. My sense of direction is so bad I get lost easily in my own garden. -_- And I hate changing gears while stepping on the stupid clutch. Stupid car always stalls. I got into the car and greeted the examiner. He didn't even grunt, dammit. Talk about being friendly. I started the usual performance only this time it's for real - adjusting my seat, checking the mirrors, pulling on my seat belt, etc. I put my gear to the first gear then we got going.
The silence in the tiny car sent chills throughout my entire body. The airconds that were at full blast didn't even help one bit. The whole journey was quite smooth and I thank God for no hanky panky going on today. Yes, I am thanking God for everything because I am indeed grateful. There was only once where this stupid ass driver cut my line all of a sudden, causing me to slam the brakes and stop in the middle of the road. Stupid driver, I hate him lah, my goodness. I panicked for a moment. Thank God (YES, THANK GOD) that my body was still functioning well without my brain and I switched back to the first gear immediately after I stopped before a traffic jam grew behind me.
I realised the examiner was, like, sleeping beside me throughout the whole journey. What a pig. He didn't even bother to see whether I was doing it right. And yet he knew I forgot to put on the indicators when I was going to make a turning. WHAT KIND OF SORCERY IS THIS?!! Thank God I passed, phew. I got 18/20 - one mistake was that indicator incident and the other was that he felt my driving wasn't so smooth, like the gear-changing and all. NVM, don't sit in my car next time. :]
Everyone seemed so happy when they officially passed and got their "P" licence. I'm not saying I'm not but I'm not THAT ecstatic. I just feel like, Phew, I survived another challenge in life! That's all. BUT I WENT ECSTATIC WHEN MY MUM TOLD ME TO DRIVE HER AUTO CAR JUST NOW. :D :D :D It's kinda creepy because the car moves by itself when you put the gear to "D" which means "Drive". ._. New discovery for noob Ru Min. And I just realised her Nissan Sentra is so big compared to the only car I've ever drove before which is the koci rat learner's Perodua Kancil so I couldn't really estimate where I should be when driving on the road. But I'm glad that auto cars don't have a clutch, phew! I hate clutches.
She taught me how to U-turn, haha. Yes, I've never U-turned before, omagad. And we almost died just now when I took my mum for a drive around our neighbourhood because a freaking fast car just swept in front of me. I just found out my mum was even more panicky than me because she pulled the handbrake immediately when I'd already stepped on the brake. Or is it because I didn't understand that life is short? IDK.
When we got back, she told me our little adventure was the scariest five minutes in her entire life. I can't imagine how boring her life is since she thought THAT was scary, LMAO. Sorry, mum. YOLO! :P
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