Wednesday, July 18, 2012 @ 8:45 PM
So many people have been pestering me to blog but nowadays, I don't really have much free will to express however I want due to SOME reasons so I don't even feel like blogging altogether. Some self-centered people just want to watch the world burn. -_- Another reason is because I've been so busy with homework and quizzes lately. Too many quizzes for coursework! :( Barely have enough time to study for all of them. Another Add Maths quiz tomorrow and here I am, not giving a damn. Feels good to be a badass once in a while. 8)
It is also hugely my beloved brother's fault. He has been (once again) hogging the computer and as I don't blog from the iPad, thus, semi-dead blog. Mind you, I have loads of inspiration and absolutely no writer's block or whatsoever. So many things to blog about as I've experienced umpteen many exciting events lately (my ex school's Talentine, NASA Space Settlement Competition, Subang Rally, my class' fundraising event today, etc.) but I'm just plain lazy. Ru Min? Lazy? *gasps* Okay, I'm always lazy. There's no need for such a big response.
Also, I feel guilty everyday for not touching my textbooks. I've grown to be so freaking lazy, I can just sleep all day long even though it's a school day. I mean, whenever I feel like studying, the stupid iPad will be lying around somewhere and then all thoughts of revising will be gone. I swear, it's sucking my soul and killing my brains. I've went through so many sleepless nights because of the iPad. Sigh, I shouldn't give in to temptation so easily. -_-
One totally irrelevant but perfectly good excuse for me being not motivated to blog is because I AM SO FAT ALREADY. I know, I know. You'd probably think, What the heck is your weight got to do with you not blogging? Excuses lah. Don't want to blog then say lah. Haha, chillax, bro. Hear me out. It's weird but when I feel fat, I feel so demotivated. My mood will be freaking ruined for the whole day so there's no drive to blog anymore. Eventhough it might be a fantastic day for me but whenever I think about my weight, I feel... sad. Whoa, sharing my insecurities with the entire universe. I'm so brave. ._.
Wait. Suddenly, I feel like there's a need to blog about my weight. Gonna abandon my mission of explaining why I'm not blogging frequently nowadays. :P Okay, I've been dieting like siaocrazy since last year and yes, it did work but just for a while (because whenever I drop 1kg, I stuff myself 2kg to celebrate my weight loss #dumb) so I'm back to square one. My mum said I should eat three regular meals and stop binching when I feel hungry (or when my mouth starts itching for food -_-) and for once, I listened to her. I eat three regular meals (but not large proportions) and do fifty sit-ups and twenty push-ups everyday because I read somewhere in the Net that that will help to strengthen stomach and arms muscles. (Y) I don't run daily (I should) but I don't think I have enough time. Might start that routine but they said it takes quite a while to burn calories.
I've already cut down on junk food and carbonated drinks (my mum doesn't even buy them anymore) but sometimes, I snack to keep me awake on those rare days when I feel like studying. I used to diet a lot last time but it's unhealthy so I wanna do it the right way. MANA TAU, MALANG TIDAK BERBAU. After trying so hard, I feel like a fool. I have gained TWO FREAKING KILOS just because I was practising a healthy diet. Do you even know how disappointing is that? Probably not; you're so slim and good-looking, some of your clothes look loose on you.
Maybe I should've stuck to starving myself; it'd have shown better results. On some days, I wonder why I bother so much about my weight. I didn't really care much about it last time and I was happy to eat whatever I like. I realised I've been so affected with these petty worldly matters but I can't get them out of my head. It irritates me to think that I've tried so hard to slim down and yet I'm heavier by 2kg now - it's freaking hard for me to lose 2kg, okay. -_- Sigh, it might be God's way of telling me to stop trying and just be satisfied with life.
I guess I'd start my original dieting plan tomorrow again. Healthy lifestyles just don't do for me, sadly. Gonna start running tomorrow if possible. Okay, gotta finish up my English essay then sleep with my fats. ;_; Goodnight, guys. On a side note, I'm really glad that some of you still view my blog although it's kinda dead. Thanks a lot. I'd give you a potato but I love potatoes and I'm a selfish person, so NO. :P
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