Friday, November 30, 2012 @ 6:50 PM
As boring as it sounds, I've dreamt of being a doctor since I was in preschool. I used to play around with my mum's stethoscope (not toy stethoscope; this shit is serious, HAHA) and pretended I was a doctor listening to the heartbeat of the couch and TV. Whenever teacher asked about our ambition, I'd stand up proudly and announce, "I want to be a doctor!" And another hundred of my classmates will say the same thing because they didn't know what they want to do in the future. -_- When I was ten, I realised I was afraid of blood. Or more specifically, my own blood. I was learning how to ride a bike when my dad let go of it and it fell on me. The spikes pierced through my left calf and it was so painful but I didn't cry... UNTIL I saw blood trickling down my legs. Then I cried. Lulz. I howled and wailed and screamed. It was so creepy! Blood is so scary! Icky crimson red substance, eww! Okay, one of my deepest fears revealed. Don't laugh at me, please.
I guess I can strike doctor off my list of ambitions. I know I don't have to be a surgeon and face blood everyday if I really wanted to be a doctor; I could be a paed like mum but that's like so... Underachieved. I mean, why would you study so hard to settle for less? No, the kiasu streak in me just kenotz. Anyway, perspective changes. Mind changes, opinion changes and feelings change. I changed. Last year, I found out being a doctor wasn't what I want, after all. Everyone was counting on me to be like my parents but I finally realised that's not what I want. For a short while, I wanted to be an accountant because I scored 100 for my first Accounts test, HAHA. That dream didn't live long when I settled for actuarial science. I love Add Maths A LOT and Physics and Chemistry intrigued me (Biology not so much) so I wanna be an actuarist!
Throughout my entire life, I've never argued THIS much with my parents to get what I want. This year, we constantly fought because I wanted to be an actuarist. They were devastated when they found out another one of their daughters won't be becoming a doctor. Not to be proud or anything but my parents have always believed I was the one among my three siblings who'll continue their profession one day. When suddenly, this idiotic girl came up and told them she wants to be an actuarist? OVER THEIR DEAD BODY. "You'll have so many exams to go through! Like a million times more and harder than SPM!" "You'll have a tough time being an actuarist and you can never be your own boss!" "You'll be in the business world - that, that dog-eat-dog world! Very scary!" They made up excuses so lame that they're almost hilarious. Being stubborn isn't a good thing but at least my stubborness got me what I wanted; they eventually agreed to let me take up that career. On a side note, I feel that you can view my stubborness in two ways. You can say I'm either a very stubborn person (negative) or a very persistent person (positive). Let's just settle with the latter, heh. :B
I guess they're just worried that I don't know what I want in life and "too young to think", that's why they're deciding everything for me to the point that it's really ticking me off. -_- I hate to admit this but a part of me wants to be an actuarist not because I REALLY want to be one but because I'm being rebellious and NOT want to be a doctor. Yea, childish, I know. But being a persistent person, if some time down the lane I realise being an actuarist isn't my thing after all, I'll still strive to finish what I've started because I'm a perfectionist. That's why I'm not so worried lah, thank God for this obsessive trait. :) My parents have paid for my course so the deal is sealed. I'm gonna be an actuarist already, yay!
Or so I thought.
I woke up early this morning to accompany my mum to the hospital. She's been having lower abdominal pain since her last surgery to remove something (you don't have to know that, heh) so she's arranged to have colonoscopy performed on her. We waited in a room called the "Day Care" ward after mum changed into scrubs before she had the scope. I brought my Mandarin books to study but I couldn't concentrate lah. The Mandarin characters made me sleepy so I wandered out of the ward, looking around and being a kepoh as usual. And then I came across the nursery and looked inside. I almost squealed! The most adorable newborns were in their cribs, eyes have yet to open! They were so tiny like the size of a puppy and they were so cute!
I thought I hated babies and kids BUT SERIOUSLY, RU MIN. YOU DON'T HATE THEM AT ALL. I stared at them like a paedo but I just couldn't leave. Too cute, TOO CUTE. I could've cried for them because so many babies don't make it. A great life lies ahead of them. Or a shitty one, lulz. Depends on themselves lah, right? :B
Level 7. It was the gynae and paeds floor. I slowly soaked in everything. The dimly lit hallways that don't seem to end, nurses buzzing around, doctors speaking in medical terms. I remembered a friend once told me she wanted to be a doctor so bad but after spending a day in a hospital, she gave up that ambition because she couldn't take the medical environment. I went back into the ward to find mum lying on the bed while the nurses pushed her out. Finally, it's her turn to go for the scope. We entered the lift to go down to Level 2. People shuffled in and out of the lift on every floor; everyone was so busy. At last, we arrived on Level 2 and mum was pushed around in the hallways until we arrived at a ward called "Receiving Bay".
And at that split second when I caught her faint smile before she was pushed into the ward, something in me clicked. A spark went off. A flame ignited. It burnt, just like the passion I had since young. The dream was back.
At times like this, I wished I wasn't so rebellious/stubborn. I wished I wasn't so affected by my emotions. I wished I saw the bigger picture. I wished I knew what I really want. Yes, that's the problem, I finally see it. The problem is, I don't know what I want. And when people pressure me to do things I want (IKR, doing things I want also need to be pressured, WTH, I'm such an ass -_-), I will end up NOT doing it just because I'm pressured. Stupid. I don't think I'll regret doing actuarial science but since now I know that I actually STILL like the idea of me being a doctor, I should've listened to my parents lah. It seems they know me better than myself, dahell. No choice, decisions have been made, courses have been paid. Wow, that rhymes, HAHA.
Mum, drowsy AS, was pushed out of the ward a few hours later and we went back to Level 7. I attempted to study some Mandarin while waiting for her to regain consciousness but ended up wandering to the nursery again. There were other newborns by then, as adorable, nevertheless. I realised I really like babies and kids. Never thought I will, though. I've always been annoyed by babies and kids because they can't keep quiet for once. Yes, I sound like a grumpy old woman but I'm just stating the truth. But now I think they're little angels lah. I bet I was ten times noisier than them when I was younger, LOL.
If I were to be a doctor, maybe I'd be a gynae or a paed like mum (God forbid, HAHA!). I went back to the ward and waited a little longer before mum finally woke up. She sat there like a doll for a few seconds before she turned to me and said, "So, do you want to be a doctor?" I was like the crap. Dude. You already paid for my course, remember? "You can always switch." she said. The minute I heard I had a CHOICE, a DECISION to make, I freaked out a little.
I guess I'm one who doesn't like making decisions, that's why I'm such a fickle-minded person. If I can't decide on something, I'd rather have nothing. And I'd prefer if I wasn't fed any choices so I can just tell myself, "Okay, no choice. You just have to accept it. God's will." In a way, I'm also very lazy lah because I hate choosing. Maybe I shouldn't complain so much about my "freedom to choose" when people make decisions for me because they're actually doing me a huge favour, LOL. I don't know whether she was being serious about the switch but if she was, I know it'll cost more money. AND I know if I said YES, she'll go all out to switch my course. As you can see, determination runs in the family, heh. Okay, I'm kinda scared now. God gave me a second chance and this time round, I get to choose.
Now. Two choices, Ru Min. Doctor or actuarist? Your pick.
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Whisk me away
Saturday, November 24, 2012 @ 11:00 PM
Have been embracing my artistic streak in me lately. Took quite a few photos that mean nothing to the everyday eye but I like them because they mean something to me. :) Might open a photo album on Facebook to upload all my perasan work of art. A lot of people are doing it nowadays so I'm kinda like meh. So mainstream, I kenotz. I've been painting a lot lately, too. Suddenly feel like an artist, LOL. My art's kinda simple, though. Just dealing with colours. It's actually nothing much and not that nice, really.
Church's carnival was today. Wasn't as busy as expected but it went well, I guess. :) I was in charge of a booth called Bottoms Up with Don (my booth partner) and we had a hard time asking small kids to play the games, hahaha. I was there at 8.30am because Don asked me to be there early but I was informed later that he's coming late. AHHH. Okay. -_- The whole event ended at 4pm, went back a little later to talk to Bryan. Su Li, you should've been there. We can haz talk session. So tiring but it was fun, nonetheless. I was planning to sleep until tomorrow morning but my dad and my brother started jamming! And they're SO off! Real music to my ears. Now, I'm wide awake and can't be sleeping any sooner. Yay.
I'm willing myself to sleep early again and not get hooked on the internet. I've been sleeping the earliest at 1am lately and it's stupid. I know I'm beat! Let's face it lah - most people who said they have insomnia DON'T have it. It's because they're addicted to the internet late at night, that's why they can't sleep. No, they DON'T want to sleep. Insomnia doesn't even mean the inability to sleep at night; it's actually a sickness where you DO sleep but you wake up intermitently in the middle of the night and you can't control it. Now, do you have insomnia? Don't lie. Most of you probably don't. And I should stop using this excuse, too. HAHA.
I know I have one weakness if I sleep late, too - I confess/share secrets too easily. Just me? I hope not. I don't know why as the night grows deeper, the stuff I talk to people about over the internet gets deeper as well. I feel like there's this deeper bond between two people and things to talk about get easier. Also because there isn't anyone awake as well so you only focus on one/two people? But some things that I know I'll never say if I'm really alert sometimes end up seeing the light and when I wake up the next morning, groggy and all from the lack of sleep, I regret saying them. It's like I'm drunk late at night and can't filter my thoughts before I spill anything. Maybe it's because of the lack of sleep lah that's why I can't think straight, too. Lulz.
But I like late night convos. It really shows the true colours of a person. Maybe not entirely but at least a little bit. The things they talk about will grow as deep as yours and you sort of know what personality they have because THEY will be confessing everything, too. HAHA. Shouldn't say confessing lah; more like being plain honest than they usually are. So many interesting topics to talk about and they're normally not those meaningless nonsense you joke with your friends in broad daylight. We may be drunk and spilling all the secrets at night but it makes me feel like we become a tad bit smarter when we have late night convos, LOL. TRUE, RIGHT? I really enjoy late night convos with mah homies; they iz so the very interesting! Homagad, different friends talking about different stuff, some shallow some deep, so enlightening. I'll end up a genius eventually if I talk to them
My eyelids feel so heavy but my brain is too active already lah. Gonna practise some P&W songs after this. I wonder whether other P&W members practise the songs at home or just me taking things too seriously, LOL. Okay, there goes another sleepless night for me; time for some nonsense-talking on the internet later. If I still can't sleep, heh.
And if you're my sister, read this. If you're not, read this, too. You know you want to. Anyway, Lucy. I'm glad that your interview went well! I really do hope you get the jabbers; I'm sure you will lah with all that experience. Mum's also damn ecstatic. She flooded my room with her excited voice early in the morning with your piece of good news. Everyone's so happeez. :D And if your exams aren't over yet, I'm still keeping you in prayer. Can't wait to see you in a week! Remember to bring the iPod Touch back and the charger and the stuff required to do all the activities we talked about, okay. YAYYERS. x
Thanks for reading if you're not my sister. You're officially labelled as a nosy-parker. Not really your fault, anyway, since everything here is public. But still, achievement unlocked! :) Have a great weekend.
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Wednesday, November 21, 2012 @ 11:15 AM
But I can't believe I kept quiet about everything. I'm not one to share my thoughts and frustrations with people at that time, keeping quiet about everything seems like the best way. I believed everything would go away - all the confusions, frustrations, decisions to make - if I didn't mention anything. Like they will disappear. Avoidance. That's how I settle my problems, even now. Doesn't work, though. I thought I could leave quietly, it'll be less painful. For all of us, mainly me. I mean, it's not a really big deal to my friends if I left. Seeing the smiles on their faces, why would I want to tell them this piece of news? It's totally irrelevant to them. It didn't feel right to keep it all inside. But I did, anyway. And I left. Quietly.
I regretted everything. Everything. From not taking part in the decision-making process, from not telling anyone, from avoiding the elephant in the room to The Switch. It's okay to experience a new environment but I'd kill to go back. I remembered the first day after school, I went for tuition in my new school uniform. I tried to hide while waiting outside for the class before me to finish; what was I so embarrassed about? About not telling? Then why didn't I tell anyone about The Switch in the first place? Because if I didn't say anything, it won't happen?
I will never forget the moment my close friend approached me and asked why I was absent on the first day of school. "But I went to school today." I replied sheepishly. Just a different one. He stared at me for a while. "What are you wearing?" he asked. "My school uniform." I answered matter-of-factly. More students were coming and waiting as well. They stared at me like I was a foreign creature. And slowly, the horror spread over his face. My heart twisted when the sudden realisation hit him. I remembered praying I'd disappear at that moment. "W-what? What's happening? W-what's this?" he sputtered. I would laugh at his expression but everyone was so serious. I didn't know it'd be this huge. It certainly did not feel good one bit. People kept staring at me while the truth sunk in. "P-please tell me you're joking." I didn't know why he sounded like he was in extreme pain. And the rest of my friends stared at me with hurt in their eyes. I thought I did the right thing by not telling anyone to avoid people getting hurt. How wrong was I. Everyone got hurt in the end, IDK why. Why would my leaving hurt anyone? The door flung open suddenly and the class before us filed out. I ignored them, avoided their stares and just walked in quietly.
And the rumours spread like wild fire. She switched because she couldn't get into the first class, she switched because she didn't want to take Mandarin for SPM, she switched because of this and that. Rumours always sound so juicy and filled with "truth", so easy to believe. Sad to say, they're lies. All of them. Let me tell you that The Switch happened because of nothing. I don't know why it happened. It may be because my parents seemed keen and I didn't want to disappoint them, or because my brother was already there so it'd be more convenient if both of us went to the same school, or some other shit reason. I don't know why it happened. It just did. I probably shouldn't make a big deal out of this but it's still a freaking gigantic deal to me until now. To be plucked out from my comfort zone and thrown somewhere else. Sounds exciting? It gets lonely after a while.
You get to meet new people but they eventually fade into their own cliques. And you eventually fade away from the memories of your old friends. On the surface, you have plenty of friends but deep down, you know it'd take years when you finally feel comfortable and open up to people. This is me lah, inwardly introvert. Does it make sense? I feel like all my efforts of warming up to my old friends have gone to waste because I was already so ready to be more comfortable around them when suddenly, picked up and flung to another land. And I have to repeat the whole process. The Making Friends Process, I'd call it. LOL, sounds lame.
I'm not sad that it happened but I could do without The Switch, honestly. I was happy in my old school even if I didn't realise it. Contented with everything I had. Some teachers were so lazy and some of my classmates irked me but overall, it's perfect. I don't even mind people making fun of my Mandarin. Too bad lah, I'm from an English-speaking background. Now, I looked forward to the day where I finally graduated from my high school and enter college. No matter how scary college is, at least most of my old friends will be there. It'll be a joyful reunion for me. :) But it's kinda sad that some of them don't really acknowledge me already. I think I mentioned this before but it's awkward when I approach some of my old friends and they just stare at me without even saying hi. Why? Am I that easy to forget? And all their class pictures on Facebook without me inside, gosh. Can't help feeling a tad bit upset.
And then, the news came. The Next Switch. Not following the norm; going solo. Again. Just when I'm getting used to this, to settling down and getting to know people better - gonna get plucked and thrown like the petals of a flower again. The reality of things is going too fast, I can't possibly keep up. I don't want to leave and yet the risk-taking part of me can't wait to experience a new life. History is repeating itself but the outcome didn't turn out well the first time; I was unhappy. Would it end up the same this time round? I hate this torn-between feeling.
But Ru Min, do you honestly think they don't dare to do it if you don't give an answer? Please, even if you did give an answer and if it's not the answer they want, they'll still do it. Should I be quiet this time? Avoid it and assume that it'll never happen? Or tell someone about it? What can they do? Share your mixed feelings about this yet feel helpless like you because they can't do anything to change this, too? No. You shouldn't put people in that position where they have to find the right words to comfort you. Doesn't mean anything or make any difference, anyway. I wonder whether people will get hurt again.
The whole world seems like it's crashing down on me at full speed. And I'm standing alone in the midst of everything. How terrifying. Sometimes, I wish life was simpler. Or perhaps it is but our minds tend to complicate things. In that case, I wish humans were more simple-minded. I wish I was more simple-minded. Without the ability to think and feel, that'd be the best.
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Tuesday, November 20, 2012 @ 10:00 PM
After bowling, four of us (Am Am, Ah Yin, Haf and I) were so eager to shop because there was so many nice things there but they want to go Red Box, geram doh. We got scolded for not having class spirit (HAHA) so we felt guilty and went karaoking, too. Had so much fun singing together in the end (because I didn't want to waste my RM20, LOL). Okay lah, shop next time lah, guise. Another outing, definitely! I stayed back till 8pm with Yvonne and Melissa because I was following Yvonne back. We went looking around in Asian Avenue for some cheap stuff. I almost bought three necklace for RM20 (it was gorgeous!) but Yvonne's mum came so we had to go. Kinda regretful, though. If you think about it, it's only RM6+ per necklace, so rare because necklaces normally come up to RM10 to RM15 nowadays. It was such a bargain. :(
But it was a great day. Totally deserved the break after a month of gruelling and draggy exams. I slept at 2am yesterday AGAIN because I was so excited. Why? MY MUM IS ACTUALLY CONSIDERING LETTING ME DIP DYE MAH HAYER. She was so reluctant at first lah and said, "Why? You'll get cancer. Ru Xuan didn't dye her hair, too." I was like, "Whaaat. I'm not Ru Xuan lah. And she wanted to dye her WHOLE head; I only want to dye the ends so you don't have to worry about the colours seeping into my head." "You're getting more and more wild." I was so WTH-ed. To me, I feel it's like a milestone in life. Doing something crazy for once won't kill me. After all, I've been a relatively good girl my whole life, can't I be a bit rebellious now? Wait. Dip-dyeing isn't even something rebellious; it's just a form of expression. But if she really doesn't like it after I dye, the most is I chop off my length of hair lah then it's back to full black, haiyo. She was considering what I said but I could see the reluctance written all over her face. She told me to ask my dad first so it's probably a no. False happiness. -_- And Ru Xuan, if you're reading this, DON'T ASK/SAY/MENTION ANYTHING ABOUT THIS TO THEM. Please. Ask/tell me anything first. You know mum changes her mind damn easily once you say anything so please don't. :(
I'm supposed to go to the gym this morning but I'm damn lazy. I have a bad feeling if I continue being like that I won't lose any weight at all this holiday. I have to make a contract with myself to go to the gym EVERYDAY at least once. I remember being so excited to go to the gym during my exams but now all the excitement is slowly fading away. Y ALWAYZ LAIKE DIZ. -_- Anyway, more smashing news. Mum told me yesterday that I was offered some scholarship to the nun school. Oh, right. I didn't mention the nun school before but NVM, you don't need to know that. So, my parents said I might be going there next year. Most probably, I don't know. Not sure how I'm feeling about that. :\
And bad news. I'm forced to take the Mandarin SPM paper lah, walao. Mum said it's super important. FOR WHAT LAH? I don't think I can even get a B grade, holy cow. I have to memorise all those Mandarin proverbs and sayings, so annoying! I have so many things to do during the holidays but have to deal with Mandarin, grr. On a side note, most of my friends are still having SPM so I don't really have anyone to hang out with ATM. They're all still cramming for exams lah. I'm actually quite bored other than the occasional hang out with any non-SPMers, LOL. Might even play MS again but my brother hogs the computer all day long so I'm not sure. Shall find something productive to do. ;)
Like studying for Mandarin. Lolwut.
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Friday, November 16, 2012 @ 6:40 PM
How's your day so far? Mine has been running pretty smoothly and swell other than the occasional bicker with my mum and that girl on Facebook annoying the crap out of me but let's not go there. :3 I promise you today's post will be a happy one. :) Sorry for the depressing/angry posts lately, I'm normally not like this but I think I'm going through some weird emotional phase right now so just bear with me, alright? On a side note, people who read my blog shouldn't get affected by how I feel. Wait, no. How do I put this? Okay, got it. If you blog and you read my blog, you shouldn't let my posts affect the way YOU blog. As in reading my emotional posts shouldn't make you blog in an emotional way as well. I realised a lot of my friends who normally blog in a happy tone suddenly switched to my type of blogging. Depressed posts? Confused and frustrated posts? I don't know, haha. Okay, maybe you're going through this weird emotional phase like me but if you're not, don't get affected by how I blog! But I do admit that if I've read someone else's depressed posts, I will feel upset for them and go about blogging in a sad and emotional tone as well (although I have no reason to, WTH). Aiya, I still don't know how to put this. Bottomline is, don't let my depressed/frustrated posts determine the tone you use to blog yours! Don't read my blog if you can't help being influenced by my feelings, LOL. Trust me, it's all for your own good.
Okay, back to happy posts. I think my happiness started yesterday so I'm gonna start from last night, HAHA. Dad decided to take us out for a scrumptious dinner so we went to Setia City Mall, yay! Yes, I get excited when I go there because the mall near my house is so boring. Maybe it's because I live five minutes away from it so I don't feel the thrill of going there anymore. It just doesn't feel like a mall lah; feels more like a grocery store, WTH. I don't know why my friends even hang out there sometimes. On second thought, if my friends did come over, I'd go there as well, HAHA. Okay, time for a new hang out place. ANYWAY, I'd love to drive to SCM one day ON MY OWN (or with some friends lah as long as my parents are not in the picture, lulz) so I willed myself to stay awake in the car and memorise the way there.
I know it's stupid but I always fall asleep during car rides be it a ten-minute ride or five-hour ride. Not really SLEEPING lah but I will automatically zone out and stop paying attention to anything on the road as soon as I enter the car. That's why I get lost so easily. And that's why my parents don't let me drive anywhere on my own; I'd probably end up in Mars and still think I'm on the right way to school. -_- Okay, I digress. The way to SCM is so freaking easy I can drive there a million times now. It's like the best accomplishment in my life so far! :D But there are a few conditions, though. I need a car (which means my parents have to ALLOW me to go there on my own = never happen) and I only know how to get to SCM from my house. HAHA. Just realised I sound like a dumb blonde, wat.
Oh, and I don't know how to go home. -_- Before I explain that, we had Japanese food for dinner. Not really my favourite but still yay! The bad part was when my parents started their lecture about my future again. Mostly talking to themselves about it and "asking" for my opinions again without actually considering them, the usuals. Meh, should've guessed why we were treated to such expensive food. Anyway, bought a top from Cotton On because the material was surprisingly not bad. It's weird when mum kept pushing me into the H&M store. I mean, the last time I went to H&M was in UK and the clothes there burn holes in your pockets (but they're pretty and have good quality lah, duh). H&M's kinda overrated, IMO. All my girl friends (some guys, even) can't stop gushing about H&M and because there's only two stores in Malaysia so far. Soon enough, you'll see everyone wearing the same top from H&M, hurhurhur. Can't wait for the day to come, mad hilarious. But mum bought me two pairs of skinnies and I'm so guilty for buying them. One pair costed RM120 and some'd say it's the normal price but it's still damn expensive for me. I'm used to wearing RM30 sweatpants, hahaha. Just kidding. But seriously, my jeans normally cost RM60, tops. And when I think about it now, maybe I shouldn't buy skinnies. I'm too fat lah. Skinnies are for skinny people with skinny legs? Yea, makes sense.
Being totally random now but IDC. About the picture at the start of this post... I tried out this new app on the iPad yesterday called the AgingBooth or something and I think it's so flaaai. Or maybe I'm just lame, I don't know.
Right. So. On the way back home, I was beat so I just sat in the car and stared out the window. Really late already by then, can't see anything outside but I just stared out lah. And that, folks, is how I missed memorising the road back home. So dumb, right? At least if I fell asleep, it'd be a better excuse. But nooo, I just stared out the window like an idiot whey, my gosh. -_- Well, I can still drive there with someone; I just need him/her to direct me back, HAHA. Super fail.
Wow, I can really talk about happy things, too. Totally forgotten about how happy I can be, LOL. Moving on to this morning. I slept at 2am yesterday so I felt so groggy and couldn't wake up early. Didn't want to, anyway, when suddenly, a wild brother appeared! "Ru Min, let's go to the gym." Oh, right. I convinced him to go to the gym with me yesterday because he needed some muscles (do you even know how skinny he is?!! I'm jealous!) and I needed to lose weight. But I was so tired so I ignored him, HAHA. Actually, I didn't. I woke up eventually, got ready and go. My sleep can wait; I have more important things to do - LIKE GETTING RID OF MY FATS, WTH.
It was fun to do machines with my brother, heh. It's the first time, BTW. Normally, I'll just go alone and observe weird people there. And exercise also lah, of course. Nothing interesting happened today, though. No giggly girls dressing up like princesses and checking themselves out in the mirror today, just a few cinapeks and people who genuinely want to get fit. I think I saw someone I know there because there's this girl who had her hair dip-dyed about the same colour as my friend's but to avoid any awkward situations, I didn't go say hi just in case I got the wrong person, lulz.
I'm really happy today because I finally RAN on the treadmill for the first time. I didn't before because I was always too lazy, HAHA. But I RAN today! At 10km/h! No more speed-walking! So proud of myself. Shall speed up the next time round. :D However, it annoys the shit out of me when I check my weight because it's STILL the same. The kgs used to drop faster when I went to the gym last time, IDK what's happening to my body now. Storing fats better, I guess? WTH. Quite upsetting lah but this just means I'll have to work harder. Ohwellz.
We're supposed to head back home after going to the gym but nooo, we didn't. My brother and I went on a little rebellious adventure... We cycled to Tutti Frutti and had frozen yogurt. Whoa, SO badass. *rolls eyes* Come to think of it, it's kinda stupid to go there and gain weight again since we'd just exercised to lose some fats, lulz. And I know it's not really some rebellious shit we did lah (after all, it's not like we smoked weed in the woods or whatever) but being relatively obedient kids, it was bad enough because going anywhere without telling your parents?! How dare you?! LOL, I know. Super strict parents. Sucks to be us, right? NO. Not really.
I skipped lunch after that and got hooked on random videos on YouTube. I don't know since when I started wasting my life like this but I'm not complaining, HAHA. I'm also almost done with Cecelia Ahern's The Book of Tomorrow. Not bad, I'd say. I'm actually quite pleased with myself for getting my reading mojo back. Reading is like dreaming awake so I'm gonna finish reading all my books! That'll help me stay away from the Internet and food. Good plan. (Y) And my last paper is on Monday then war will finally be over. Can't wait to do so many relaxing things during the holiday. Like sleeping till I never wake up, LMAO. Haven't been getting enough sleep lately and them zits are sprouting like mushrooms after a rainy day, so irritating.
Alright, shall end this post now. I'm still brimming with happiness because I've done so many productive things today! Sorry, I'm drunk, hahaha. I wish my days were as simple as this one and my thoughts won't run wild so often. Ohwellz, life wouldn't be this interesting if every day was so predictable, right? :) I hope this post cheered you up if you didn't die of boredom, hurhurhur. Ciao, amigos! Stay classy and always remember to smile. x
FASTER SMILE LAH.
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Wednesday, November 14, 2012 @ 8:05 PM
Lying. To lie means to obscure the truth from someone whether it's for your own benefit or not. I used to think lying was entirely bad like how I thought everything in the world was so simple. Just black and white. It's either this or that. Left or right. Good or bad. So, lying is just plain bad. But no matter how rigid of a person you are, it's an undeniable fact that there's bound to be a "grey area" in life. That's when the black coincides with the white, like when something fits into both categories - you can't possibly say it's entirely black when it's also white as well, right? That's how lying is to me now. Lying falls in the "grey area". Should've known lying wasn't entirely bad from the start or else so many girls will get hurt when people say they look ugly/fat in that dress, LOL.
I'm sure you know that the truth always hurts (if it's bad news) but sometimes, TELLING the truth is also as painful. Of course, we should tell the truth all the time but no one - I repeat - NO ONE can handle the truth all the time. It's like shoving bittergourds down a person's throat non-stop but they taste way better than the truth sometimes. That's why we lie.
Ironically, we hate liars. I know I do. I detest liars! I hate it when someone's being dishonest, it really irks me. I'm not saying I don't lie AT ALL but when it's not necessary, don't do it. People feel cheated, betrayed, hurt. The trust between people breaks just because of a huge unnecessary lie exposed and the trust once shared is so hard to build again. I hate liars. Why lie when you don't have to? I hate them. But maybe I shouldn't, really.
Some liars don't lie through their teeth, it actually takes a lot of effort (and creativity, lulz) to lie. Believe me, I seldom lie. No, that wasn't a lie. Really, I don't lie very often. I can be so painfully truthful that it hurts people. But I think I told the biggest lie today, to someone I truly love. I didn't know lying can come so easily when you're in need. For once, the truth was just so hard to spit out. Saying everything will turn out fine, just keep believing, good things will come to those who wait. I'm a freaking liar. I know it won't. Nothing good will come; everything will probably go downhill from there, I've seen it too many times, it's like being punched in the face over and over again.
I didn't know lying could be this hard, I felt like I've murdered our trust. But I can't possibly tell the truth, it's just too... Painful. Or maybe I'm just not strong enough. My faith wavers all the time. I don't believe that God really makes this kind of miracles happen. Is that why my prayers keep failing? Or is He just waiting for the right moment to answer them? Or perhaps, deep down, you know it as well. And accepting it already, unlike me. Maybe you're waiting for me to say it's all over but I can't, I'm sorry. Or were you willing me to tell you otherwise? You needed something to hold on to, some made-up, so-called "truth" and you knew I'll gladly give it to you? Telling you it'll all be okay? I hope it will. I really do. But I'm too weak to believe in that, though. Argh, I'm such a loser. I love you but you seriously don't deserve such a lousy friend lah.
Damn, this is such a depressing post.
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Monday, November 12, 2012 @ 2:40 PM
Mum aside, I've been watching so many movies lately when I should be studying. Sneakily. Whoa.
Yea, my exams aren't over yet, what a bore. I have four more papers (three of them are MCQ papers) in THREE days but they drag on for TWO weeks. Stupid. I don't care, I'm going for a movie with my classmates after my Physics paper on Thursday, heh. I NEED A BREAK, AHHH. I'm not stressed because of the exams, I'm just annoyed because it's so draggy. I feel like a lifeless zombie because I'm lazing around doing nothing because you can't study MCQ papers and yet I can't do something because I feel guilty. After all, it IS still exams period. Must be a good girl, heh. (On second thought, I am ALWAYS a relatively good girl, WTH. I feel a sudden verge to rant about me being a good girl now. -_- No, Ru Min. Anger management.)
I watched The Curious Case of Benjamin Button that day. The main character (Benjamin lah) looked so familiar and my mind kept telling me it's Ryan Gosling, Ryan Gosling, Ryan Gosling. And it turned out Benjamin was played by Brad Pitt. WHAT THE HECK, BRAIN?! Ryan Gosling and Brad Pitt are totally different people! I don't even know why my brain told me Benjamin's acted by Ryan Gosling.
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Anyway, I feel like posting pictures from the movie (because I like lah) but before that, I wanna say Cate Blanchett is such a gorgeous lady. She acted as Daisy in the movie. And to think that she learnt all the ballet steps JUST for the movie (she's not a dancer in real life), that's pretty wicked. :) She was so good, her pirouttes and attitudes were splendid and her steps were so graceful. Respect whey. Even after learning for seven years, I am still a potato. HAHA.
Here are some of the scenes that spoke to me so I took screenshots of them. Have been doing that a lot lately. Taking screenshots of movies, I mean. I watch them on the iPad so it's easier, haha.
"Sometimes we're on a collision course, and we just don't know it. Whether it's by accident or by design, there's not a thing we can do about it. A woman in Paris was on her way to go shopping, but she had forgotten her coat - went back to get it. When she had gotten her coat, the phone had rung, so she'd stopped to answer it; talked for a couple of minutes. While the woman was on the phone, Daisy was rehearsing for a performance at the Paris Opera House. And while she was rehearsing, the woman, off the phone now, had gone outside to get a taxi. Now a taxi driver had dropped off a fare earlier and had stopped to get a cup of coffee. And all the while, Daisy was rehearsing. And this cab driver, who dropped off the earlier fare; who'd stopped to get the cup of coffee, had picked up the lady who was going to shopping, and had missed getting an earlier cab. The taxi had to stop for a man crossing the street, who had left for work five minutes later than he normally did, because he forgot to set off his alarm. While that man, late for work, was crossing the street, Daisy had finished rehearsing, and was taking a shower. And while Daisy was showering, the taxi was waiting outside a boutique for the woman to pick up a package, which hadn't been wrapped yet, because the girl who was supposed to wrap it had broken up with her boyfriend the night before, and forgot. When the package was wrapped, the woman, who was back in the cab, was blocked by a delivery truck, all the while Daisy was getting dressed. The delivery truck pulled away and the taxi was able to move, while Daisy, the last to be dressed, waited for one of her friends, who had broken a shoelace. While the taxi was stopped, waiting for a traffic light, Daisy and her friend came out the back of the theater. And if only one thing had happened differently: if that shoelace hadn't broken; or that delivery truck had moved moments earlier; or that package had been wrapped and ready, because the girl hadn't broken up with her boyfriend; or that man had set his alarm and got up five minutes earlier; or that taxi driver hadn't stopped for a cup of coffee; or that woman had remembered her coat, and got into an earlier cab, Daisy and her friend would've crossed the street, and the taxi would've driven by. But life being what it is - a series of intersecting lives and incidents, out of anyone's control - that taxi did not go by, and that driver was momentarily distracted, and that taxi hit Daisy, and her leg was crushed."
I almost cried at that scene (and for me to ALMOST cry, it's a freaking depressing thing because I'm normally quite emotionless, LOL). No matter how upsetting that part was, it's my favourite scene because it made the most sense to me. Sometimes we're on a collision course, and we just don't know it. So true.
Overall, it's a pretty good movie. If you haven't watched it yet, you should! So many good moral to learn from there; my dad actually asked us to watch it, LOL. On a side note, mum said I'd get stomach cancer if I keep studying like this :
She said I'd get stomach cancer like that because all my intestines are scrunched up together inside. WAT. R U SRS. And dad said I'd get spine problems which lead to osteoporosis before I even reach old age. Don't know whether they're scaring me or it's true. But I like to sit like that when I study, it's so comfortable! LOL.
Grr, mum just told me to study for my Mandarin paper for SPM. NO. I REFUSE TO TAKE THE MANDARIN PAPER. I don't think I can even get a credit. I got less than 40 marks for my trials paper because my essay went out of topic, ermahgerd. Feeling so sorry for myself now, lulz.
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Friday, November 9, 2012 @ 5:15 PM
A few weeks ago, I went for my youth's monthly prayer meeting for the first time. Honestly, if it wasn't compulsory for the P&W team members, I wouldn't have gone, not because I feel prayer meetings are boring like most people do, but because I'm afraid it'll get awkward when we have all finished praying and sitting around doing nothing. Yes, that's what I thought prayer meetings were all about. Pray, sit around and do nothing, wait for a miracle. I don't know how it works but it sounds kinda dry to me. I still went although it was exams period (still is).
We did sit around but we certainly didn't do nothing. I didn't know it'll start off with P&W - yes, with singing and music. There were no lyrics displayed at the front like every Sunday but everyone was singing softly in their own words, different and yet in harmony. That was the best. Eventually, the praying began. Everyone had their personal moment with God; I had mine, too. Prayer isn't something rigid, like you can't fit it into a box. Prayer's different for everyone; it's a lot like love, actually. There are no rules to praying like you have to clasp your hands together while you pray, or close your eyes, or bow your heads. No one can ever tell you how to pray and you can't learn prayer from someone else. I feel prayer is a personal interaction with God, like how you communicate with someone you love dearly. It'll be ridiculous if you went up to a friend and asked, "How do I talk to the people I love? What should I say? Is there a right way to talk to them?" No, there isn't. The only right way I can think of is to talk. Just talk. Talk to the people you love. Talk to God.
Perhaps I wasn't focusing so much God and I feel quite guilty for that. A few times, I glanced around and watched how others prayed. I was praying in the usual position - seated, hands together, head bowed, eyes closed (well, not when I was people-watching); some were standing; some were kneeling; some were pacing back and forth; some were crying/laughing; some were dancing and prancing around (wow); some were facing the wall while they prayed; some were even singing and worshipping. It intrigued me. I continued to pray hard and give thanks to the Lord, for the triumphs and trials in my life.
Ps. Phillip then asked us to go up to one person that God's telling us to pray for. People started moving and I remembered panicking a little because God didn't tell me to pray for anyone. Or maybe He did but I wasn't paying enough attention to Him, unfortunately. I just stood there awkwardly, not knowing what to do, when someone tapped me on my shoulder and asked, "Can I pray for you?" Surprised, I turned around. It was Aisha and she prayed for me. I was going through a rough patch at that time and her prayer did help me a lot so I'm really grateful to her. Ps. Phillip preached for a while then he got us all standing in a circle, holding hands. One by one, we took turns to pray for someone/something as long as it's not ourselves.
Then, it was my turn. I didn't really know what to pray but I remembered blurting out my first sentence, "Thank God I'm alive right now." And at that moment, it dawned on me that I never once thanked God for my life. For His breath in me. For my soul and spirit. These past few months, I have met and heard so many people suffering and dying, especially from cancer. Stomach cancer, breast cancer, skin cancer, bone cancer, ovarian cancer, etc. My grandpa suffered from prostate cancer last year till February and I'm forever thankful that God spared him. The day of the prayer meeting was actually a public holiday but my parents had to attend THREE funerals and visit TWO of their close friends with cancer. Although they're all not related to me/I've never met them before, their sufferings did affect me subconsciously these few months. No wonder I was feeling so depressed and upset.
First stage, second stage, third stage, fourth stage. Innocent people are suffering and dying everyday. Family members lose hope and happiness. Loved ones shed tears and feel helpless. Such agony and pain that people have to go through every single day while here I am, having the nerve to whine about how unfair and tough life is and not wanting to live anymore just because of some petty matter. How shameful and ungrateful, this girl. I was so overwhelmed with my new realisation, something just stirred inside me. I shook and shivered as I prayed for the people who're suffering and dying, prayed for their families to have peace in their hearts, prayed for miracles to happen. My choice of words were simple as I don't pray very well but I knew God saw through me and heard my heart. At last, I asked Him to strengthen my faith because I knew mine was starting to crumble again. I refuse to go back to who I was for the past six years - one who had backslid and drifted away from Him.
Thinking back, I'm thankful that P&W team members were forced to go for prayer meetings (although many of them didn't turn up, HAHA). I'd gladly skip it if I could but luckily I didn't, phew. I learnt so much. I guess I might go for the next one if it doesn't clash with my ballet classes. And if someone you love is suffering from a chronic disease or you're experiencing the dumps right now, just pray. Prayer works - it always does. Or you can always come talk to me, I don't mind listening. :)
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Thursday, November 1, 2012 @ 4:30 PM
Holy smokes, the second Accounts paper today was frightening, I finished my paper just in time! Normally, Accounts paper won't be THIS hard compared to the three Sciences but this time, it required so much of brain juice I almost gave up because I was so tired. I've been sleeping at wee hours in the morning because I was studying last minute (haha, secret's out) so my eye bags are so heavy already; I can even feel wrinkles growing on my face, my gosh. I think I talked to myself throughout the exam to calm myself down. In the last fifteen minutes, I had, what, three more long questions? ._. Didn't have time to go through everything but wherever my eyes landed, I saw my mistakes and changed my answers frantically. I felt like God was guiding my eyes to see all my wrong answers so that I could change them. Thank You, thank You, thank You! :*
Two more weeks till war ends, I love it when time flies like this. :B But next week's hell lah, three long papers everyday, all the hard ones some more, geram. Have to revise finish Physics, Chemistry, Business, BM and Add Maths by the end of this week, gonna leave out Maths 'cause time is running out, sigh. Wait, what am I doing here? -_- Anyway, them emotions are kinda stable today and them thoughts are chilling so today's been going pretty well despite my Accounts paper. NVM, it's over, can't do anything about it already; my as well focus on the coming papers. BTW, my sister and Shwu Mei tagged me so I'm gonna finish it up since I'm feeling pretty steady today. :)
What is this Liebster Blog Award?
The Liebster Blog Award is given to upcoming bloggers who have less than 200 followers. Liebster is a German word which means "favourite", so that makes it "favourite blog award". The rule is answer the 11 questions asked by the blogger who gave you this award. In order to accept this prestigious award, one must abide to the list of rules which are :
1. Each person must list 11 things about themselves.
2. Answer the 11 questions that the blogger has set for you.
3. Create 11 questions by your own for the 11 people you will nominate for this award.
4. Choose up to 11 bloggers, linking them to your post.
5. Go to their page and inform them that you've nominated them.
Absolutely no tags back. Remember to only tag bloggers who has less than 200 followers.
Okay, since two people tagged me, I'll answer two sets of 11 questions, meaning there will be 22 questions. And I'll list 22 things about myself as well. Feeling so kind today, LOL. Here goes :
22 Things About Me (that you probably didn't need to know lah, HAHA)
1. When eating vegetables, I choose the stalks over the leaves. I know, it's weird but I really hate the leaves. They're too chewy and always get stuck on your teeth, yuck. So, no leaves for me. :)
2. I don't share saliva with anyone. For example, if you don't like your dish and ask me to eat it, I won't. Or if you want to drink water from my bottle, it'll be a no from me. Or if you want to taste my soup/drink, no as well. I can't stand other people's saliva, IDK why. OCD, I guess. That's why I hate Chinese dinners because people will be using their chopsticks to poke all the food, EWW!
3. I can't study in one place because I get distracted too easily. That's why I have all my books around the house because I keep changing places to study. Like nomads, haha.
4. I LOVE COLDPLAY LIKE YOU LOVE ME, OMG!!!!!!!!!!
Okay, maybe you don't love me but I LOVE COLDPLAY. Seriously. Die-hard fan. I listen to their songs EVERY SINGLE DAY and ONLY their songs. And I don't get tired of them because all of their song lyrics are too beautiful to pass. :') And before I die, I WILL go to their concert with Hafiza, or anyone who wants to go with me lah. I just HAVE to. It's like one of the seven wonders of the world but even MORE wonderful, how can you not go?!! Currently, I'm learning how to play songs from their Mylo Xyloto album, super hard for me because I'm not trained to play by ear but no pain no gain, right? :D And I shall buy their album after my exams, can't freaking wait!!! Or you can buy my their Mylo Xyloto album for my Christmas present, I will love you. :3
OMG, I can go on and on about Coldplay (and I'd rather!) but I have to finish this tag. Some other day, I shall blog about this obsession, HAHAHA.
5. I play the piano and violin (but super noob, haha). I don't play the guitar but I know how to play Yellow on it. :D :D :D SEE? THIS IS HOW DEDICATED I AM TO COLDPLAY. Okay, should stop fangirling, it's annoying. I wish to learn the drums, though. My friend taught me a few times and it seems pretty easy... until you reach the challenging beats. No hand-foot coordination all of a sudden, WTH. I must be retarded. -_-
6. I have insomnia. Really bad ones. And the worst part is after I finally manage to fall asleep, I wake up damn early like 4am. Which means I only get to sleep three to four hours a day so forgive me if I can't really pay attention when you speak to me.
7. Is my favourite number. Enough said.
8. I love anything Oreos. Ice-creams, mud pies, shake, etc. You can bribe me with Oreos. Yes, it's that easy. I'm pathetic, LOL. But NVM, Oreos > Any other food in the world. Macarons, japchae and pad thai come close, though. But not bacon and Nutella. I don't like them. Too mainstream and not even yummy. -_-
9. I HAVE TO SAY THIS. I hate it when people cheat, it's freaking annoying. Be it cheating in exams, relationships, games, cheating other people's money or whatever, damn. Please show some respect for yourself and others as well, you disgusting piece of shit.
10. I'm a perfectionist in a way. Like I can't stand it if my storybooks have dog-eared pages (if they're textbooks then I don't care lah, hahaha) or if my title is not in the middle of the page when doing projects on Word, I'll redo the entire thing. And if I do/learn something, I must finish it no matter how much I hate doing it. But this only applies to certain things lah, okay. Not in everything I do, I'm not that obsessed. Yet. Hahaha, kidding.
11. When eating sausage buns, I'll eat the bun first then only the sausage. Pretty much like how I eat every other food lah - finish up the disgusting bits first then enjoy the tasty bits, LOL. I'm sure a lot of you do this, too. :)
12. My retainers are embedded behind the teeth of my lower jaw after I took off my braces. You probably needn't know this, HAHA.
13. I like Xiaxue a lot, she inspires me (read her blog HERE). She swears like a sailor but at least she speaks her mind. And some of the things she mentions require deep rationalising so it's good for your brain. Wei Yin thinks she's shallow-minded, fake and disgusting lah since she did damn many plastic surgery already. But other than the plastic surgery part, I think she's great and entertaining. Really worth reading. :D
14. I am always dieting because it doesn't seem to work for me. The relationship between delicious food and I is too strong. :9 Going to the gym to exercise everyday after exams, though. Can't wait!
15. This fact thingie is getting kinda exhausting. I don't know what else to say lah. Oh, wait. I'm fickle-minded. I absolutely cannot make a decision myself without asking someone else. "Wake up today or just die in my sleep, which one is better ah?" LOL. So, don't ever go shopping with me, you'll die.
16. I love anything related to the UK. I wanna go study and live there next time but my parents forbid, WTH. No choice lah, their money what. I can't do anything. :(
17. White is my favourite colour because it represents purity. But please don't buy me white clothes, I won't wear them because they'll make me look fat, HAHA. Wait, I am fat no matter what I wear. ._. Wat.
18. I spend more than five hours a day online (doing unnecessary things to waste time) but you won't realise it 'cause I'm ninja like that.
19. I'm afraid of the dark. I have been sleeping with my lights on since ten. My parents think I'm going to get skin cancer. Ohwellz. :(
20. I like blog-hopping, Tumblr-stalking and admiring photos with deep meanings. I like to read people's thoughts because people are too confusing by nature (or I'm just dumb lah, IDK). I like blogs more compared to reblogs on Tumblr, though, because those stuff on Tumblr go around and become stale eventually; blogging portrays fresh thoughts from a person's mind. I wish people blog more.
21. I won't get tan even if I live on the sun; I only get sunburns.
22. I'm not a girly girl but I've developed a sudden love for shoes last year, especially heels. Pumps, to be exact. They're gorgeous but I can't wear them here because I'm rather tall for an Asian girl. And most of my guy friends will look like midgets beside me, that'll be awkward. :/
OMG, I'm halfway done! Getting impatient already. If you've read this far, you deserve your own award, hurhurhur. Next. Shwu Mei's 11 questions first then my sister's.
11 Questions (from Shwu Mei)
1. Single or in a relationship?
Single.
2. Choose one : Love or money?
Love.
3. Choose one : Friends or Lover?
I'd choose neither but okay, friends.
4. What makes you happy?
God, family, friends and food. And the internet as well, LOL. False happiness.
5. One word you would use to describe yourself?
Indecisive. :/
6. Favourite activity?
Eating, sleeping, hanging out with friends, reading, Mapling, wasting time, laughing, etc. Too many lah, I don't want to choose. :)
7. Favourite colour?
WHITE.
8. When was the last time you cried? Why?
A few weeks ago. Some insecurities got the better of me, stupid reason lah. Never will again.
9. Ever cheat in a school examination?
WTH, NO.
10. Do you feel satisfied with your physical appearance?
Who ever will? LOL.
11. Place you would like to travel to?
USA, Europe, Korea (again!), Japan, Taiwan and Hong Kong. I know the question stated "place" as in singular term but I don't care lah. :P
11 Questions (from Ru Xuan)
1. What is your mission on earth for your remaining days?
Spread the gospel and God's amazing love for His people. Travel and take beautiful photos. Listen to good music and learn to play them. Enjoy delicious food (duh :B).
2. Do you think twins are scary? And what is your weirdest experience with a friend/cousin that is a twin?
No, I think they're cool. I wish I had a twin. Um, my weirdest experience was I couldn't tell them apart (normal lah).
3. Are you brand conscious? Having to buy a branded bag and a non-branded bag that cost and look exactly the same, which would you choose?
Nope, I don't mind using a pasar malam LV bag as long as it lasts, HAHA. But if the branded bag has a superb quality and I can afford it, why not?
4. Chocolate or strawberry?
Strawberry.
5. Sweet or sour?
Sweet.
6. What is the most embarrassing thing that has happened to you within this five months?
Going to the principal's office twice for doing nothing wrong. -_-
7. Do you believe that childhood friends are the friends that you cherish the most? Or real friends comes to you when you're older/now?
Yea, I believe real friends come to you when you're older because you're more mature and experienced to know whether they're true to you or not and can choose them wisely. Your childhood friends may drift away from you because people change and there's nothing you can do about it. Wait, why do I sound so emo? Hahaha.
8. Can you stay at home all day without stepping out of the house even if you have nothing to do?
Yes, I can.
9. What type of movie suits your personality?
Comedy. Or the ones like Inception. Or (500) Days of Summer. Those that require you to think. IDK what type of movies are those.
10. Finger-food or three course meal?
Finger-food lah. So easy to eat and get fat, LOL.
11. Night sleeper or day sleeper? How late do you actually go to bed and sleep plus why?
Day sleeper, sigh. I usually sleep past midnight due to insomnia.
Wow, I'm finally done! :D This post is damn freaking long, ermahgerd. Tired as heck now, my eyes hurt so bad, I'm sure yours hurt also if you've read this far. But thanks for reading! :* I'm not gonna create 11 questions, not gonna tag anyone. Just because I'm lazy like that, hurhurhur. You can do it if you want to. Goodnight, I shall go sleep now. Yes, I know it's only 4.30pm but haiya, don't be so politically correct lah. GoodNIGHT, people. Stay classy. x
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