Tuesday, November 15, 2011 @ 10:19 PM
Then, I realised I locked the door. Nobody can save me now. D: Man, I was shivering, I tell ya! SHIVERING! I didn't know where all my newfound courage came from when I just sprang off my bed all of a sudden and reached for the lights. Walao, the beams of light that came shooting out! My eyes, my eyes! I sighed in relief when my eyes got used to the lights. I'm well on my way to overcoming my fear of darkness! :D I went straight to the computer to apologise to Bryan for forgetting about our game. MANA TAU, he said he didn't even play at all. FML, say earlier lah! I could've slept till tomorrow morning lah! -_-
I'm Skyping with my sister now. :D Yesss, without my mum interfering! (Y) My mum always gets in the way of both of us. She likes to listen in to our secrets. Wow, I didn't know I missed her THISSS much. *stretches arms wide* Can't wait to go to Oz Land next Saturday! I can't update my blog anymore, then. D: NO, WAIT. I can use HER laptop. >:) #likeaboss She just told me a super funny incident. One day, she went out for lunch with her working colleagues, Angela and Cuong (weird name? ._.). Cuong brought his nephew and niece along with them. His nephew is six and niece is seven.
They were eating and having fun when my sister said she wanted to go to the toilet. So, Cuong's niece followed her. After she was done doing her stuff in the toilet, the little girl walked up to her and held her hands in her little palms solemnly. My sister was thinking, What in the world is happening? Cuong's niece then stared deeply in my sister's eyes, filled with seriousness and then said, "My brother likes you." OMG, HAHAHAHAHAHA. MY SISTER LAUGHED LIKE MAD, OKAY. No, maybe it's me who'd laughed like mad after hearing that but ANYWAY, my sister went out of the toilet and continued on her meal.
She said the little boy kept staring at her and whenever she looked back at him, he glanced away! :3 SO SHY, OMG, CUTE MAX LAH. HAHAHAHAHA. And to think that he's only SIX! HAHAHAHAHAHA, WALAO EH! Angela said maybe it's because my sister kept refilling his cup with water, that's why he "fell in love" with her. HAHAHAHAHA. Sigh, can't wait to see my sister. She just showed me where I'm gonna sleep when I reach there. Right by her side (aww). :') AND SHE'S TAKING ME SHOPPING. AND WE'RE GONNA EAT MACARONS (first time!). OMG, WE'RE GONNA HAVE SO MUCH FUN. FUN. FUN.
LOL. My mum just came back. D: Gonna have to go soon. My grandpa said my dad's coming back late tonight because he has an operation to do. I know it's quite mean but part of me is secretly rejoicing deep down as I can use the computer a bit longer. My mum will scold me, though, but her nagging is not as bad my dad's death stare, LMAO. Anyway, Ccy has helped me find lots of book reviews on Google to write the script for my Mandarin oral test. I'm still considering whether I should take Mandarin. :/ What a hard decision. My ambivalence is of no help at all.
It's Report Card Day this Friday. IDK what will my mum say/ask the teachers/what will the teachers say. Scary. D: I suddenly have this sinking feeling. School's gonna end soon and the holidays are just around the corner. I should be happy but to think that I will not be seeing my friends for a month plus makes me feel sad. ._. Very sad, in fact. I'll miss them so much. No more crazy talks with the loonies. :(
Damn, my mum is scolding me again. Bye, gotta do some memorising for my oral test. :( One more day left till the test. Oh, shit. Suddenly remembered we have to go for assembly in school tomorrow. My fingernails! LAZY TO CUT THEM. I'm so dead.
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Whisk me away
Monday, November 14, 2011 @ 8:21 PM
The sudden disappointment of a hope leaves a scar which the ultimate fulfillment of that hope never entirely removes. - Thomas Hardy
I saw him today again. Thinking about him makes me... mad. No, not like those madly-in-love mad or mad-crazy mad (a little, perhaps) but pure angry-mad. I feel angry and upset every time I see him. Not a word is passed between us, however, I feel myself burning inside whenever I see him, my entire being fueled up by his presence. I hate it when that happens because it just shows that I'm jealous. Yes, I admit it, I'm jealous. Of his achievements. Of his social life. Of his grades. Of his talents. Of his looks, even. I guess my anger is caused by the jealousy within me. I feel strangely upset whenever I see him because something in me nags that he'll always be better than me. I feel unaccomplished. There's nothing in my life I've achieved that will bring myself pride. My life is a total flop compared to his.
Mun Yeed always said that I should be proud of him. After all, he is my very close friend (although we've kinda drifted away since my shifting of schools). Well, I AM proud of him. I'm glad that his life is a success and he's gained the respect of many. He's proven himself worthy to the community. I just, sigh, I don't know. I'm jealous that he'd grown so much since I first met him. We were both noobs lah back then but now he's left me behind to be a noob by myself. Standing beside him makes me feel like an ant nowadays. A germ, even. The words he speaks are of power and status but mine are just equivalent to mere specks of dust, colliding with the air particles, signifying nothing.
Jealousy is sin, I know. But I've strived so hard to achieve something in life and end up with zero accomplishments. The only success I've achieved so far is successfully portraying myself to the world as the girl who's scared to lose. No, I'm not afraid to lose because I have NOTHING to lose. People will never believe that, though. All I can say now is that I'm extremely disappointed in myself.
Accomplished sixteen years of nonsense. Bravo, Ru Min, bravo.
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Sunday, November 13, 2011 @ 8:14 PM
Oh, my goodness whey. I'm so inspired to learn musical instruments already, I don't know why! My dad brought back his own guitar, my uncle's guitar and my other uncle's violin from my old house. The violin looks really old and the strings of the bow had already snapped. My mum is gonna take it for repair later. My dad taught me a few chords on the guitar but I couldn't play because the fingernails on my left hand are too long, teehee. And to me, guitar is the HARDEST instrument to learn compared to the rest 'cause when you wanna play a chord, your fingers must press the EXACT strings that make up that chord without touching other strings or else the sound produced will be really... hmm, how can I put it... hesitant. Hesitant? Yea, hesitant. Anyway, if my friends can self-learn guitar, so can I. *tries to be optimistic* After all, practice makes perfect.
Vivian taught me how to play the drums in church after service today! :D I think I was too noob and lack of coordination so she got tired of me (sorry, Vivian!) and handed me over to Elijah. Walao, he was so freaking good!
Alright, guys. Gotta go finish up my Mandarin novel to prepare the script for my last minute Mandarin oral test. Sigh, so lazy lah but I have no choice. Hmm... On second thought, nahhh. I'd rather play Guess The Sketch on Facebook. If you're my friend on Facebook, come and join me, please. I'm so bored. For your convenience, click HERE. :D
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Saturday, November 12, 2011 @ 10:18 PM
LHS (Left-Hand Side) = (Right-Hand Side)
There. It's stupid because the answer (which is obviously the RHS) is already given. They just want you to PROVE that the answer is correct. Some may think it's easy since the answer is already there and if you can't solve the LHS to prove the RHS, you can always do it backwards. It's lame because the - THE - answer is already provided! Why would they want us to prove an equation which already has a solution? No cow sense lah. I wonder which idiot was so free to come up with this idea of proving these identities, making the lives of students a million times more miserable and frustrating. We already have so much in our hands to solve, why would we bother to prove something that is already, well, proven? *grumbles*
Okay, chill. It's not worth it to get so worked up over something small, LOL. Anyway, today's a rather unproductive day for me. Which is kinda sad 'cause today is a Saturday. A SATURDAY. A Saturday where friends hang out with each other/go shopping; parents take you out for breakfast/lunch/dinner... and I woke up at 1.30pm, half an hour before heading off to Mandarin class. Well, technically, I woke up at 8.30am+ and wandered around aimlessly. I found myself staring at my brother banging the keyboard furiously while fighting off ugly fat monsters on the computer screen. Sidetrack a bit, can someone PLEASE tell me whattheheck is so nice about DotA/WarCraft?!! Oh, I know, absolutely NOTHING. It's just a lame game that sad people who have no life play. Shh, spare me your criticism towards my MapleStory. :3 It's a gazillion times better than your crazy game, random DotA/WarCraft diehard fan.
Okay, back. I went downstairs and sat at the breakfast table alone, staring into space and wondering what to do after realising there wasn't any breakfast prepared (sad). NO FOOD?!! Mind instantly went blank. I don't know what time it was when I got up to watch TV. Astro officially sucks lah, including the HD channels. All the movies/shows are so boring and are constantly on repeat! Total waste of money. My grandpa said it's because Astro is monopolising the whole market and doesn't have any competition, that's why the business is very inefficient and produces work of poor quality. Crap, Business Studies is attacking my grandpa, too! D: Sigh, I wonder why my parents are still subscribing to Astro. Must be the Korean dramas that keep my mum alive. *rolls eyes* Thank God I managed to watch a show (or documentary?) that's very interesting on Discovery Channel. You must be thinking, Discovery Channel? Interesting? You serious, bro? I knowww, but it really was engaging! It's called I Faked My Own Death and damn, that show was good! Two thumbs up! (Y) (Y) It's almost like Criminal Minds but they're, in a way, hatching up plans to fake-murder themselves instead of other people so that they can get away from the cops/lead a new life elsewhere. WATCH IT, it's on channel 551 (if you have Astro). :D
After that, I went back to sleep. LOL, too sleepy lah. Slept at 2.30am last night (or early in the morning) because I had the iPad with me, FML. Sometimes, I hate myself for having so little self-control. :( Anyway, that's how I woke up at 1.30pm and went straight to tuition. Went to repair my broken glasses with my parents after that then returned home. My brother's friend came over and he's still here as I blog. He's going to stay over so both of them got to use the new canggih computer (I have two computers at home now). So unfair. :( Anyway, I wanted to blog earlier but guess what? Facebooked on iPad again. Two of my most hated things used at the same time, I'm such a hypocrite. V-___-V That's why I felt guilty and started doing my Add Maths homework. It's like my way of punishing myself, LOL.
I practised some beats on the drum pad just now. Ironically, drumming is quite hard, as easy as it looks. I really respect drummers now because it's not just about the beats; the COORDINATION of your hands and feet when drumming are also super important or else the beats will go haywire and they'll turn out like crap. Or is it just me who has poor coordination? Perhaps. :( Might go watch a few more drumming tutorials again later just to improve myself. Self-learning is hard. D: Really thank God that Vivian is willing to teach me tomorrow after church. :D
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Friday, November 11, 2011 @ 10:51 PM
Right, today is a really unique day. It's 11.11.11. I sailed through the first 11:11 of 11.11.11 without realisation and now I'm waiting for the second one. I'm sure millions and gazillions of human beings are talking/blogging/tweeting/tumblring about it. Apparently, people make wishes on 11:11s and believe that their wishes will come true. I personally don't believe anything like that (no offence) but 11:11s to me have their own significant meanings, too. In my opinion, 11:11s are only special when you look at the time and COINCIDENTALLY it's 11:11. I don't think it's such a big deal if you were to be staring at the clock/watch and waiting for every minute to pass until it's 11:11 because it just defeats the purpose of the magical moment. To me, if I successfully catch the clock showing 11:11, I believe that someone is thinking about me (haha, narcissistic) and no other reasons; I don't make wishes on 11:11s. If I've missed the 11:11, it just proves that that particular 11:11 and I have no fate, that's all. I won't force myself to sit in front of a clock/watch and wait for time to pass. That's just lame. And I don't know why, but I only like 11:11s at night, not in the morning, LOL. It must be the bright daylight that doesn't give the mystical, mysterious and enigmatic feeling.
That's all about them elevens. They're starting to creep me out. ._. OH, YES. I've suddenly recalled why I am so freaking happy already. VIVIAN LENT ME HER DRUMSTICKS AND DRUM PAD TODAY FOR ME TO PRACTISE! 8D 8D 8D No wonder I'm ECSTATIC! Finally, my prayers are answered! She's going to teach me how to play the drums on Sunday in church. :D I might only get to learn the basics but that's enough to keep my adrenaline pumping! OMG, CAN'T WAIT FOR THIS SUNDAY, MAN. :D Thanks a lot, Vivian! You'll NEVER imagine how thankful I am whey! I'LL BUY YOU A NEW STRIKING RED FERRARI THAT WILL BLIND YOUR EYES, HAHAHAHA. If I have enough money, that is. :P But seriously, thanks, Vivian! I owe you big time! :]
Now, I know why people say 11.11.11 is a special day. It's TRULY an amazing day for me, indeed. Oh, did I mention my mum has FINALLY agreed to let me take up violin?!! 8D After so much of pleading and begging until my mouth went dry from persuading, knees hurt from kneeling, eyes grew tired from rolling in rage and millions of brain cells died of frustration, hallelujah! FUYOH, THANK YOU, LORD. ♥
I shall now go and watch tutorials on how to play the drum on YouTube. YAY, SOMETHING PRODUCTIVE TO DO AT LAST OTHER THAN SEARCHING FOR PIANO SCORES IN VAIN! Excited max! 8D
DRUMSTICKS, FTW! (Y)0 Hullabaloo(s) : contribute
Thursday, November 10, 2011 @ 11:30 PM
I think I am bipolar. It is so sickening because this disorder causes mood swings all the time and it's really uncontrollable. IT IS NOT EVEN THE TIME OF THE MONTH (if you get what I mean) - imagine if it is. One minute you're at the top of the world and then the next you're down in the pits. My friends told me to do a free test on the internet to check whether I am really bipolar or not...
I AM BIPOLAR.
Proven. Dammit, this is bad. What a catastrophe. Nooooo.
[CLICK TO VIEW]30. That's my score. The site said, A score of 22 or more, together with episodes of clinical depression, suggests possible bipolar I or II disorder and would warrant detailed clinical assessment. Wow, I am at such a serious stage. My dad said I should go see a doctor; I don't know whether he was being serious or not. I'm not really scared, but just worried. I have so many disorders already lah, highly irritated. OCD, insomnia, now bipolar? WHAT'S NEXT? PARANOIA?! OR SCHIZOPHRENIA?!! Ma de. -_-
Oh, and my dad also said it's better for me to be bipolar rather than schizophrenic. Wow, his optimism never fails to amaze me. And makes me sick to the core. Sick of everything. Sick of myself and the disorders I house. #annoyed WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO? -_- I must start praying about this immediately. Praying helps. Hearing God's voice helps. A lot.
BTW, if you feel like testing whether you're bipolar, here are the sites that I've visited : THIS (I scored 30) and THIS (I scored 48, WTH). Good luck and don't try to be kiasu this time, it's for your own good. Obtaining a higher score than me won't make you feel better.
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Wednesday, November 9, 2011 @ 10:58 PM
Just finished my Malaysian Studies project. I don't even know why we're supposed to do all those lame stuff. I mean, I know it's counted in our exams and all, but what's the point of learning MS? Yea, yea, we must be patriotic to our country and yadda yadda yadda. NVM, I'm just annoyed because I didn't know copying and pasting info from the internet also takes so much time. Come to think of it, if I actually did the whole project myself, I could've finished it in a shorter time. Oh, well. What's done is done. :)
Okay, I can't really blog a long post now as it's kinda late and my parents are urging me to sleep. I should've blogged just now after school but I was just... so... sleepyyy... *yawns* I went to ballet class just now. Finally, after resting for a long month. Oh, wait. I didn't blog about the day I fell and sprained/twisted my ankle. Damn long story lah, lazy. But long story short, a small part of my ankle bone got chipped off. ._. I know, disgusting. I can walk now but my ankle is still a bit swollen. Just a little bit. And it hurts a little. Probably because of the sore muscles from all the ice skating on Monday.
I realised lately everyone has been on a blogging spree. Some of my friends even started a blog for no particular reason. It was out of the blue. Other friends of mine asked for my blog link. No, you're not the only one, Ken Loong (if you're reading this). Sometimes, I'd prefer people stumbling upon my blog rather than coming up to me to ask for my link. Anyway, I don't mind having loyal readers. :) But stalkers... uh, that's a different story.
Alright, gonna end this post now. I'm really tired from all the jumping and prancing around in ballet class. Mind you, I'm not that light. Oh, and one more thing, I have to show you this! A MUST-READ! Never fails to make me laugh my head off every time I see it. 8D
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