Monday, June 24, 2013 @ 12:30 AM
I can't.
It's semester break, my semester exams are over, all my friends have gone home to party. Me? I am still here, alone, with all these. Writing, filling, rushing for deadlines. Not because I was procrastinating that's why I am rushing but because I have exams before that, and work before exams. The same question haunts me everyday : When will it end?
I keep asking myself why I am doing all this. Why I am doing this to myself. I keep telling myself that it is what I have chosen. It is all worth it. All my work is worth it. God rewards those who work hard to achieve. But then again, am I working that hard? Am I being melodramatic and in actual fact, I'm just working averagely? I feel so mediocre, anyway. There are certainly many others who are working doubly hard and are still going strong yet they don't claim for holidays, they don't rest, they don't need a break so why do I?
I noticed how my heart beats with a different pace every time. I think I am panicking and my heart is having a hard time pumping enough blood throughout my system to allow me to breathe. Is that why I am feeling so out of breath right now when all I am doing is just sitting here?
All I am doing is just sitting here.
Sounds relatively simple yet you have no idea what I am doing besides "sitting here". How would you?
I am losing it. Or am I losing myself? Are they even the same?
1 Hullabaloo(s) : contribute
Whisk me away