Friday, February 3, 2012 @ 10:29 PM
But first, lemme tell you this is an emo post. Read on if you wish.
I don't think I've mentioned before about me spraining my ankle last year. A sprain, so what? You may ask. People sprain their ankle all the time. Okay, that may be true but for me, it was my first time. I can't remember when I sprained my ankle because I don't like talking about it but I know it was my first time wearing flip-flops to school for almost a month, whatthecrap. To tell you the truth, I hated every moment of it. School shoes over slippers in school any day!
As I've never sprained my ankle before, I thought I could just continue walking immediately after I fell so I just steadied myself and took a step. Unfortunately, I fell again. And it didn't feel good at all because it was already after school and parents were piling up at the school gates, followed by students thronging around. I remembered it was a Friday and everyone stared at me limping my way to the canteen (but failing miserably) before Sharmie came to the rescue. Sigh, embarrassing moment.
Sprains heal fast. Yea, that's what I thought so. In my case, NO. When my dad took me to the hospital for an X-ray, he said there was no dislocation. I thank God gratefully for that but my dad left out important information because he thought it was something minor. After all, he'd seen worse cases. Apparently, I had a small hairline fracture. Yea, it may sound harmless but guess what?
I CAN'T DO PIROUTTES ANYMORE.
No big deal, right? I mean, what do you know if you don't dance? -_- Pirouttes are vital in ballet, FYI. It all occurred to me when we were supposed to do a double piroutte during ballet lesson today for each leg but when I did it with my right leg, I slipped. I tried again but I just couldn't. Not even one full piroutte. ONE. Do you even know how that feels? Probably not. I'm training so hard every single night to try supporting my whole body weight on my right foot but I always wobble and lose my balance after that, falling head first onto my bed every time. It's already my last grade and this shit happens? FML to the core whey.
I'm flabbergasted. Devastated. Screwed. It's like peanut without butter, Tom without Jerry, Calvin without Hobbes, cookies without cream, a pianist without fingers, a cyclist without legs, a general without his army... The loss is not only upsetting and disappointing, but to know that I'll never get to do a perfect piroutte like others could, I feel empty. Something's missing in me but nothing could ever replace that hollow feeling deep down in my heart every time I dance.
I'd probably never get a chance to do that. Maybe that's God's way of telling me it's time to give it a rest. Maybe my mum was right all along that I should stop learning ballet. Maybe I wasn't even made to dance ballet after all because I don't own a slim figure like others do. Maybe... So many maybes.
But I'll never stop hoping that one day, just maybe, God will prove me wrong.
0 Hullabaloo(s) : contribute
Whisk me away