Wednesday, December 14, 2011 @ 11:37 PM
I've absented myself from church since I was ten for some unknown reason. Many of my friends had been persuading me like mad to go to church but I gave so many excuses to skip church. I guess I was afraid? Of what, rejection, maybe? Friendlessness? Objection? I don't know. I wanted to go to church very badly but there's something holding me back. It must be the devil we're speaking of, that sneaky chap. >:(
I knew I was backsliding bit by bit every single year and I wanted to save my relationship with God so I went to my church camp every year without fail. But alas, the only thing that lasted in me was a spark. Then, nothing. And this incident repeats itself every year. I wanna go to church but I don't wanna go just because of guilt. I always felt weird when people from my church asks me whether I'm a Christian or not. When I say yes, they'll ask which church I'm from and things get weirder from there.
Honestly, I didn't want to go to camp this year because we're not combining with Grace PJ and Grace USJ. I assumed the number of people going would be lesser and thus, camp would be more boring. Oh, how wrong was I. In a way, I thank God for that. The number didn't change much and I'm proud to say that camp this year was twice as fun as the last. :D I encountered the Holy Spirit, too, which was a real bonus for me.
Six years. It's been six long years since I've felt this joy. This overwhelming joy that makes me feel loved and wanted; not forgotten and thrown aside. The world may forget me, but as long as God knows my existence, it's enough to put me through my whole life.
I fell in love with Him all over again. Can't wait to go home this Sunday and reunite with my Father in heaven. It's been six years. Six long years.
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