Thursday, June 6, 2013 @ 1:18 AM
You can work so hard and do your best, not try, but DO your best and still lose everything. People look at you like you're one lifeless nerd who don't know how to socialise and have zero communication skills. You'd think to yourself that it'll all cease to matter as you enter a prestigious university so you just ignored those people and studied doubly hard. You're expected to get good grades and you did since you've studied very hard so you started to be picky about your career/university choices. But in the end, you found out you're not the least bit qualified to enter. Why didn't the studying pay off? Did you work yourself to death for nothing? If studying was the only thing you're known for and yet you can't even get into a famous university, what is the point of your existence? And you thought you had a choice if you're smart? Little did you know, you may be smart but you're just not smart enough.
At times like this, I wish I knew someone, other than God, who had the time and wouldn't mind me pouring out my soul to them. They'd just sit there and listen while I release all my frustration and anger and disappointment on how unfair life can be. They'd just allow me to cry and cry and cry freely till I'm completely spent. They'd not ask me what's wrong, what's happened. They'd not fumble around for the "right" words to console me, they'd not try to cheer me up. They'd not judge me with every word I try to speak. They'd not fling their thoughts and opinions at me, the maybes, the perhaps, the what ifs, of what might have caused it to happen just to rationalise my mind. They'd just sit there and listen quietly, patiently, while I try my best to use words and form sentences in between gasps for air after crying so violently. They'd just let me cry till I'm contented, they'd just simply be a person I can release everything upon. And when I'm completely and utterly done, they'd just embrace me in a long and warm hug, not a word, then they'd release me, let me go, walk away from me, just to give me some time to recollect myself, my thoughts, my feelings - they'd be everywhere by then, scattered, and trampled on by life.
I wish I knew someone like this.
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Whisk me away