Thursday, February 23, 2012 @ 10:00 PM
Thanks for everything. x
The Elle towel hanging in my closet reminds me of you. The thin, yellow hairband reminds me of you. Those rainbow socks remind me of you. The new SD card you gave me, sitting on my bookshelf, reminds me of you. The whole box filled with ten correction tape refills reminds me of you. The note you left behind with your scribbles beside it still remain on my whiteboard as to remind me of you. Everywhere I look, all I could think about is you.
Three months. I thought those three months being together with you wouldn't change anything and I'd be able to go back to my old life again after you've gone. How wrong was I. This is the first time I feel so empty without you by my side. Like what my soul has left is just a deep, dark abyss of despair. I remember both of us taking long walks together at the park with Snoopy trotting in between us. I remember bringing my camera along once to snap pictures of the moment so that I had something to blog about but now, they'll just remain as a memory of you that I'd like to keep it to myself.
Spending time together with you has brought so much joy to me. You light up my monochrome world. I looked forward to seeing you everyday after school. It's like having a reason to go back home and a purpose to live for once. It felt so good to be with you as I've never felt so carefree. I've never mentioned anything about loving you because perhaps my ego was too big. I thought it was cheesy and meaningless, those three words. Now that we're a million miles apart, I regret not telling you that I love you.
It's been three days since you left me. So many things had happened in just three days and none of them was good. Depression hit me lately but I have no one to share it with - no one as suitable as you. Oh, if only you were still here, I know you'd be so willing to listen to my rants, every single one of them. I've never missed you so much in my life. You left me twice but it didnt't create a real impact on me. Like people say, three times the charm. Indeed, the "charm". I like the late night conversations that we shared as it gave me a good excuse to sleep late; for once I could tell myself that it wasn't insomnia's fault.
As I lie on my bed now, shrouded in darkness, the only thing that runs through my mind is all the moments we'd spent together. I miss every single one of them but most of all, I miss you. You came with the light but you left with it, too, unfortunately. I can feel the tears now forming behind my eyes but my self-control is too strong, holding them back. How long more do I have to go through this agony and pain till I see you again?
A thousand years.
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Whisk me away