Tuesday, June 15, 2010 @ 10:10 AM
Here's why.
No friends of mine - not even one - had ever stood up for me. From my experience, they either ran away or just stood there and stare. Some even took the opposite side. Traitors. Next, none of them ever bothered to listen to what I say. They just nod as if they know what I'm saying and don't give any advice. Some even joked about it - which is not funny at all. There is not even a single friend that I could trust. None. Nil. Nothing. When I was younger, I trusted everyone because I believed the world still has the existence of good people. But now, nah. All is fake. They just want to befriend you for their own benefit. So I've been thinking, why bother making friends at all? They only want to spend those happy moments with you and leave you when you're not getting high with them.
Here's another question.
What if you found out a close friend of yours wanted to commit suicide? You spotted the signs and his or her behaviour changes. Will you reach out? Or will you just step aside and let someone else deal with it? Recently, it seems everything just evolves around suicide. Why? Because people think that's the easiest way to solve problems. Don't get me wrong, but I've been thinking about suicide a lot lately, too. If it weren't for the consequences of committing suicide (which is plunging straight to hell), maybe - just MAYBE - I would've done it, too.
Once I thought it was stupid. I ridiculed those who committed suicide or almost did. They are cowards. Now I understand why they did it. It's because nobody reached out. They know people (like me) will just tell them off. Nobody ever asked suiciders (before they died) what happened that caused suicide to be their final decision or tell them what's wrong; they just say, "No, don't commit suicide. That's stupid." And that's it. Is that even reaching out? No. I can guarantee 100% if I were to ask my parents, "What will you do if I committed suicide?" They'll sure to say, "Shush! Stop talking nonsense!" That's all. Not a parent in this entire universe will ask this question if their child said that to them, "Why would you do that?"
Some of you might have seen it. I've finished this book quite some time ago. I didn't start on a new one because I have too much to think about (and partly, because I don't have any books left). Th1rteen R3asons Why tells the story about a boy named Clay receiving a shoebox which contains a few cassette tapes explaining why a girl (he really liked) called Hannah Baker ended her life. It may seem scary at first but when the story slowly unfolds, it's really meaningful.
I'm just going to keep it short but I cried myself to sleep and woke up crying for a couple of days after I read that book. It must have been the huge impact that hit me and I don't know why I cried (I'm not sad or anything) but I just did. I learnt that whatever you do or say, your words and actions can change a person's life. I'm not saying that you've lost your
I could lend you the book but I won't. You may think I'm selfish but wtheck, I don't care anymore. Life is short. After that unforgettable experience (I once lent a friend my expensive book and when she returned me, the pages came loose and some were torn), I will never lend anyone my books ever again. If you're interested in listening to those tapes I'd mentioned, click here.
0 Hullabaloo(s) : contribute
Whisk me away