Wednesday, December 9, 2009 @ 6:06 AM
Just a couple of days ago, my mum, my sister and I went to a boutique to buy some new clothes for Chinese New Year. I was quite annoyed at the music playing in the background - Chinese New Year songs - because CHRISTMAS AIN'T OVER YET!!! Surprisingly, the place was packed with people (I guess most of them are Ah Lians). I strolled around in the shop and found something that suits me : nothing. They were all super Lian clothes, okay. Ultra grossed-out. *vomits* The salesgirl was very irritating, too. My mum already mentioned, "不要紧，我们会自己慢慢看先。" but the girl still tagged along like a dog.
I went to one of the sofas to rest my legs as nothing interests me there. Then, one particular short - yes, dwarf-like short - salesgirl started kissing up my mum ass (not literally lah). "哇，Mummy..." YES, SHE ACTUALLY CALLED MY MUM THAT. "... 你的鼻子好挺哦！" So lame. "你的啊？" my mum asked uncertainly. "不是，我在说你啊！" she blabbered. Good business tactic, eh? *smirks* Obviously, she's a Lian as she had stuck on fake eye-lashes on her eyes, which had only three lashes on each eye. Gross.
The first salesgirl started asking my sister what styles she preferred and helped her match different kinds of tees and shorts together. Another reason why I didn't wanna buy anything from there is because the price was waaay too expensive. A plain tee for RM50? I don't think so. I sat on the sofa watching the little kids run around happily, hiding in between skirts and prom dresses. Better than wasting my time trying on clothes that I wouldn't buy in a million years. Also, watching the kids play is totally free of charge.
After choosing a few pairs of more down-to-earth attires, another salesgirl (did I mention there's 20+ salesgirl in the boutique?) followed my mum around and gave her suggestions, telling her what looks good on her and what doesn't. So, it's just me, all alone. I got up to walk around aimlessly, watching the growing number of Ah Lians walking into the shop.
Suddenly, I felt a thump in my stomach, like someone has bumped into me. Hard. I looked around and couldn't find anyone / anything blocking my way. This is weird, I thought, no ghosts, right? *shivers* "来，我帮你找一双很好看的裤子！" After hearing an enthusiastic voice, I felt a hand pulling my wrist, dragging me to a torn-out page of a fashion magazine pasted on the wall. In a flash, I looked down, only to find the pixie-like salesgirl staring up at me with a retarded expression. Oh, no, the three eye-lashes salesgirl.
[CLICK TO VIEW]She pointed at a pair of "hot-pants" and said, "这种类型的短裤很好看喔？" Yea, right. "哎哟，不用穿这种短裤了啦，好像小孩子穿这样！" she criticized my shorts. I was boiling inside. "都不能让你的hips看起来更小一点... " I fumed instantly. Can't make my hips look smaller? Who cares? It's none of your business! I thought but remained silent. If I were a Caucasian, I'd say, "Well, I don't wanna dress like a hooker, you twit."
She inched closer and closer to me, backing me against one of the huge pillars in the boutique. I quickly scrambled to my mother's changing room (normally changing rooms have doors, right? Those are just curtains covering the entrance of a changing room), hiding there like a fugitive. She was trying on a disgustingly bright purple blouse, which doesn't fit her at all. She stared at her reflection in the mirror as the salesgirl who was serving her flung open the curtain. So thick-skin, never ask permission before opening. SIASUI! She commented my mum, "很适合你噢！" Another liar. == "我看起来好像肥猪一样。" my mum smirked. "哪里会？！还不错啦喔，你说是不是？" The thick-skin salesgirl looked at me, expecting an answer. I kept still. Sometimes, silence is golden. =]
Then, the most horrible thing happened. SHE MOLESTED MY MOTHER!!! The super thick-skin salesgirl touched my mum's you-know-wheres and asked, "你的内衣没有做好来啊？" OMN, THIS IS REALLY INSANE!!! I almost fainted. Just then, the elf came in and checked out what was going on. "哇，还不错！" she exclaimed when she saw my mum. Did this people learn to lie since birth?! "Mummy 啊，你几岁？" the elf asked. More thick-skins, "mummy"-ing here and there. My sister said because so many people was calling my mum "mummy", my mum didn't even answer her when she called her. She wanted to scream, "I'M HER REAL DAUGHTER LAH!" LOL. "哎呀，比你老就是了。" my mum was obviously pissed. "哪里会，你猜我几岁！" "Umm, 20多？" my mum watched her step. The elf was 30+ despite her small build. A blind man could see that. "呜呜呜〜我18岁而已咧... " and started shedding crocodile tears. Aww, how sad. Not. Stupid Ah Lian. "Then，你应该是30多岁罢了喔？" Question fired back to my mother again. WOMAN WON'T REVEAL THEIR AGE WHEN THEY'RE OVER 30 LAH, USE YOUR BRAIN. My mum hesitated a while before answering, "40多... " Silence.
Finally, the thick-skin Lian went, "你要不要买这件？" she showed off the blouse she was wearing. "包定可以hide任何肥肉。看！" It happened all of a sudden. Thick-skin flapped open the bottom of her blouse to reveal : A MEGA BULGING FAT STOMACH! I admit she looks quite okay from the outside, but the fat hiding under her loose blouse is just horrendous. I saw my mum's expression - purely grossed out and my eyes almost dropped out from their sockets. Then, this super thick-skin pulled at her collar, revealing her black bra which was so hard not to miss, and said, "这件很fashionable的咯... "
Too disgusted to be crammed up in the small changing room, I bolted out. Someone called out, "小妹妹！不要跑掉！" I swiveled around to find myself being chased by the elf. "小妹妹"? Hello, I'm bigger and taller than you, okay. I quickly ran here and there around the boutique and when I'm sure she's not following me anymore, I plopped myself down on the couch. Phew, a close one! "来，试试看，不要买也不要紧！" the same small-sized hand started pulling me. Did the elf just teleport here?!! I shook my head vigorously. "不要买也不要紧的！" she still didn't let go of my wrist. I shook her off and sat there stubbornly. "Come lah, just try only, you no buy also nevermind... " OMN, "NO BUY"?! Hilarious. "Sorry, I don't feel like trying anything on today." "Why? This one vely nice. Oh, you like tees ah? Okay! I go find one for you then you could wear it with this shorts!" she gave me a fake smile and started searching. Hah! Search all you want, I'm as stubborn as a mule.
"Found aleli! Please lah. Try lah," she begged. How fun would it be if I were a queen. ;) "I don't want to." "Why?" I shook my head. "Why don't want try?" I paused to think of a lame excuse. "No reason." She sidled up to me. I could see her three eye-lashes very clearly. Damn disgusting. "I'm so sad, why you don't want try... " Whatever. Ten minutes later, another salesgirl passed by.
"你看！你看！她不要试试看这件衣服！" the elf whined. My pleasure to torture you, Liannie. The other salesgirl looked at me. "你又不给她一个机会，她怎么样证明给你看？看，她都要哭了。" The elf rubbed her eyes as if she were crying. Pathetic. "哎呀，到你说服她了！" she suddenly threw the ugly pair to the innocent salesgirl and stalked off. She's mad, I'm glad. HAHAHAHAHAHA. "为什么你不要try一下？不买不要紧，要买时可以来我们的店买！" AHA! In the end, they also want me to buy. == But I won't be fooled! I shook my head (nearly broke off from my neck from all the shaking) and she went to find another salesgirl.
Every ten minutes, a different Ah Lian will come and persuade me. I shook my head time and again. No wonder people say Ah Lians have no brains. Don't want means don't want lah, cannot understand ah? Finally - THANK GOD! - my mum and my sister came out from the changing room. I hurried them to the counter to pay as I wanna get outta here immediately. Before we left, all the Ah Lians said, "BYE BYE, MUMMY!!! 以后再来！" If there really is another "以后", I don't think I'll come. Ever.
In the car, I told her about my bad experience and the only thing she said was, "She shouldn't have called you '小妹妹'; you're so big, she's so tiny. Should have called you '大妹妹' and you could call her '小姐姐'... " HAHAHAHAHA.
Like they say, every cloud has a silver lining. *wink wink*
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